


It's Different Now

by sweetstuff



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV) RPF
Genre: Justin is their sherpa up the mountain of gayness, M/M, Perspective Switching, Recreational Drug Use, Slight Internalized Homophobia, Trapped in an elevator, idiots to lovers, reverse slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-05 20:13:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 28,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18835945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetstuff/pseuds/sweetstuff
Summary: - Yes, I did it. Nobody asked for it, but I wrote almost 30k words about some actors falling in love, anyway.- I haven't posted a fic in many, many years, so I apologize for my rudimentary understanding of AO3. Also please be nice, I just write for fun :)- This is RPF, and if that bothers you, just close the window. Dead Dove Don't Eat, you know?- Slight spoiler: "Reverse slow burn" as in, all the porn is in the beginning so don't be disappointed that it doesn't end with a sex scene.- Only split in 2 chapters for length reasons, it's not supposed to be disjointed.





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> \- Yes, I did it. Nobody asked for it, but I wrote almost 30k words about some actors falling in love, anyway.  
> \- I haven't posted a fic in many, many years, so I apologize for my rudimentary understanding of AO3. Also please be nice, I just write for fun :)  
> \- This is RPF, and if that bothers you, just close the window. Dead Dove Don't Eat, you know?  
> \- Slight spoiler: "Reverse slow burn" as in, all the porn is in the beginning so don't be disappointed that it doesn't end with a sex scene.  
> \- Only split in 2 chapters for length reasons, it's not supposed to be disjointed.

Fuck, it was only Thursday. Every day of filming that week had felt like a whole week passing, especially when it had been in the mid 80s since the beginning of July. At least for the last season they had mostly filmed in the winter and spring, not started right in the middle of summer. Robert was ready for the weekend in the worst way, and everyone else seemed to be on the same page. The patience of both cast and crew was thin; everyone was tired, hot and sticky.

Robert had shucked his Klaus costume in record speed and practically sprinted to his trailer for a shower. He was just stepping out into the evening twilight and lighting a smoke when he saw David walking down the path between trailers. David’s was one of the only faces he wasn’t tired of seeing yet, since they hadn’t had a scene together in a couple weeks, so he gave a little nod of acknowledgment. 

“Is it Saturday yet?” David said, stopping at the bottom of the steps.

“If only,” Robert said, stretching and yawning on the top step. He caught a split second of David admiring the way his shirt rode up as he stretched, making him smirk a little.

“What are you doing tonight?” David said, shoving his cell phone in his pocket and moving aside so Robert could come down the steps.

“Not sure yet, but most likely nothing exciting since we have to be back at 7 fucking A.M.,” Robert said, flicking some ash.

“I could use a few beers and a 10 hour nap,” David said, trying to stifle a yawn with his hand. 

“I could use the nap and some good head, honestly,” Robert said. David’s eyebrows shot up a little and he bit his lip like he wasn’t sure if he should comment. He did anyway.

“Well, you know where my trailer is,” he said, and then immediately blushed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Robert blinked a few times and stared at him with wide eyes as he processed exactly what the fuck David was just implying. David gave him a ridiculously adorable smirk and a half shrug, and then walked away, Robert staring after him dumbfounded for a moment.

He had to be joking, right? Like, they all liked to take the piss around here, yeah? That wasn’t a legit invitation to… 

Robert took a drag of his smoke and stared after David a little longer until he rounded the corner. He was trying like hell to ignore that his dick was indeed interested in the offer, but it was a losing battle. He reasoned with himself that there was no harm in a little no-strings-attached oral sex, that’s what friends are for, right? Right.

His mind was made up. He flicked his cigarette and followed David, for better or worse. 

 

_____________________________________________________________

 

The second David shut the door behind himself and leaned against it, he started to panic. Did he seriously just fucking proposition Robert, for REAL? What was he thinking? How could he gamble their friendship like that? Robert, despite all his flirting and cheekiness, was not interested in men, and David was well aware of that. Sure, Robert wasn’t going to make him feel weird about it because he was a nice guy, but he would never forget. The thought of that awkwardness hanging in the air between them forever made David even sweatier than he already was. He pressed his fingertips into both eyes and let his head thud against the door. 

 **_Knock, knock._ ** 

The vibrations on the door behind him made his heart stop. _Holy shit,_ he was _here_. 

David took a few deep, shaky breaths and tried to regain his composure. He never in a million years expected Robert to agree, and yet it looked like this was really going to fucking happen. He ran his hands through his hair a few times and tried to not look too eager as he opened the door. Robert smiled when David opened the door, making his knees go weak. 

“Hey,” Robert said, and David couldn’t remember how to use words. “I don’t know if you were serious or not but if-”

David cut him off by grabbing a fistful of his tank top and pulling him into the trailer. He wanted this for so long, he immediately lost his cool and went for it. The second the door snapped shut behind Robert, David pushed him up against it and kissed him hard, hands gripping both sides of his face. Robert seemed surprised but quickly fell in step, matching his fire with searing kisses and roaming hands.

He couldn’t believe he was really kissing Robert fucking Sheehan, but he poured every ounce of his passion into it, getting drunk on the slide of tongues and hot hands on his skin. He pressed his thigh between Robert’s legs, moaning a little into his mouth when he felt that Robert was already chubbing up. Robert whined and bucked his hips against David’s thigh, black nails flexing into the skin of David’s biceps. He broke the kiss and took a ragged breath.

“ _Fuck,_ I wasn’t expecting-” Robert started breathlessly, but the words died in his throat as David dipped his head to taste his pretty neck. Robert moaned softly and his head fell to the side, letting David leave a love bite that would be hard to explain to Makeup in the morning. David’s hands dropped to Robert’s hips that were exposed by his always-too-short shirts, pressing his thumbs a little into the indents and scratching his fingertips along the small of his back.

Robert arched his hips forward, practically riding David’s thigh for any kind of friction and it was so sexy that David almost blacked out. He figured he better get a move on, giving him one more kiss that Robert ended with dragging David’s bottom lip between his teeth. David whined and let his knees buckle a little. He was headed that way anyway.

As soon as David knelt down he immediately put his mouth on Robert’s maddeningly sexy midriff that had taunted him for the last year and a half. Robert tangled a hand in David’s hair, letting his eyes flutter closed and head fall back against the door as David licked and nibbled along his hips and pelvis. David’s blood pressure spiked even further as he got the nerve to rub a hand up Robert’s thigh and over the bulge in his jeans, making Robert gasp and tighten his grip on David’s hair. There didn’t appear to be underwear under the jeans and for some reason that was even sexier than David could have imagined.

“Don’t tease me,” Robert said, his voice gruff with arousal. David smiled impishly and gave Robert’s bulge a few more firm strokes through his jeans. As much as he wanted to draw this foreplay out to last forever, he knew it was now or never.

Not that he was an expert or anything, but he got Robert’s jeans unbuttoned and unzipped with finesse despite his hands trembling slightly. He tugged at the jeans enough for Robert’s dick to be exposed, just as pretty as David had been expecting. He was already almost fully erect, which made David’s cock throb in his own shorts because he made that happen. He still couldn’t believe this was actually happening, but he licked his lips and leaned in to let the tip brush against them. He snaked his tongue out, looking up at Robert as he licked the underside of his cock and then closed his lips around the tip. The sight must have been amazing because Robert’s jaw was hanging open as he watched. The eye contact was heated, not awkward like David would have expected, and it boosted his enthusiasm even more. He swirled his tongue around the tip and wrapped a hand around the base, giving it a little squeeze.

 _“Fuck,_ ” Robert hissed, reaching his other hand up to cup David’s cheek.

Hearing Robert cussing shouldn’t be that sexy, but it was music to David’s ears. He started to bob his head, his slick, hot lips taking Robert in a little more each time. He closed his eyes and let himself get lost in the act, stroking the shaft with every up slide of his lips. Robert was making the sexiest little moans that David had ever heard. So he turned up the heat, adding suction that made Robert groan and buck up into his mouth. David complied, moving both hands around to grip the back of Robert’s thighs. Hands tugged at his hair as he let Robert take a little control and fuck his mouth, moaning around his cock as it brushed the back of his throat.

David let one of Robert’s thighs go so he could reach between his own legs and run his fingers over his cock under his basketball shorts. He let go of Robert’s other thigh and went in for the kill. He wrapped his fist back around Robert’s cock and pulled his mouth off with a pop. He gave it a few tugs, flicking his tongue over the sensitive tip and then swallowed him again. His fist slid along easily now, allowing him to get some good wrist twisting going. He found a rhythm that seemed to drive Robert absolutely nuts judging by the sounds he was making, lip bit between his teeth.

“David, I’m -” he gasped, but it cut off with a groan as he gripped his fists in David’s hair and came.

David had never swallowed before but he did his best, moaning with Robert as he rode the wave of orgasm. He pulled back after a few more shallow dips of his head, wiping his mouth and suddenly feeling anxious that maybe Robert would be angry now. It was quickly proven to be a silly thought as Robert grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him to his feet for a hard closed-mouth kiss. Robert must have felt the tent in David’s shorts against his hip because he inhaled sharply and pulled back.\

“Oh, you’re still-” he started, but there was another knock at the door that gave them both heart failure.

“Hey David, have you left yet?” someone called, probably an assistant. David swallowed his heart and tried to speak normally.

“No, I’m still here. A little busy though, give me a second,” he said, hoping it sounded polite even though he was honestly a little pissed about being interrupted.

“Oh, I’m just supposed to tell you that Steve is looking for you. Sorry to bother you,” the assistant said and David could hear them walking back down the steps. So much for his boner.

“Doesn’t Steve have a cell phone?” David said to himself. He collapsed against Robert and dropped his head on his shoulder, smooshing him into the door as the spike of adrenaline filtered away. He felt Robert’s chest rumble as he chuckled.

“Maybe this wasn’t the best place to uh, hook up,” Robert said, patting David’s arm. David took a deep breath, inhaling Robert’s smell and it made him feel better.

“Probably not,” David said, bracing his hands against the door and pushing himself off. “If you want to come back to my place we can get food and beer. But like, just to hang out, not uh- not this, necessarily.”

David hoped he hadn’t overstepped or came off as being weird or clingy or whatever. He really did just mean to hang out, but maybe that was too forward. Robert didn’t skip a beat, though.

“Sure, I’ll meet you there in a little bit. Go see what Steve wants and I’ll go pick up beer and dinner,” he said, like they didn’t just do something completely fucking crazy.

“Sounds great,” David said with a smile, his appreciation for Robert increasing tenfold.

 

__________________________________________________________________________

 

Robert’s mind was racing. He didn’t even listen to the driver as he mentioned the total, just handed him some bills that had to be more than enough and got out of the cab. The bags of food and beer were heavy, but he still paced at the entrance a little before actually walking into David’s building.

On one hand, he was afraid that David was going to expect something more than he could give him. Sure, he’d said that this was just about hanging out, but it felt a little bit like Pandora’s box had already been opened. Robert wasn’t blind, he had realized that David was into him for a long time. Of course David was a beautiful man, downright sexy sometimes- but finding someone attractive didn’t necessarily mean he wanted to have sex with them. But on the other hand, he’d just received one of the best blowjobs of his life, and it hadn’t even lasted that long. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, having a friend willing to suck him off when he needed it.

But what happens when David wanted him to reciprocate? There was no way. He might be able to pull off a hand job, but as much as he liked David, he wasn’t sure he wanted a cock in his mouth at any point, ever. Would it be fair if it was so one sided? Was he a bad person for accepting something he wasn’t willing to give back? Would it end up ruining their friendship?

Before he knew it, he was standing at David’s door, the steam from the takeout boxes starting to burn his arm a little. He shook himself out and knocked. _Don’t be weird_ , he told himself.

“ _Come in!_ ” he heard from the other side of the door. He juggled everything he was holding to open the door.

“I’ll be right out!” David yelled from the bathroom.

Robert let himself in and set everything down on the coffee table in the living room. He sat on the couch and stared around the dimly lit room, noting how David had yet to unpack basically everything except the TV and gaming consoles. Boxes were stacked up in all the corners, there were empty bookshelves and a chaotic pile of shoes by the door. Robert could relate - they never had much time outside of filming, and decorating the temporary place he basically only used for sleep was a low priority.

Only a few moments later David came out of the bathroom and Robert felt gayer than he ever had in his life. David was clearly just out of the shower, wearing only white basketball shorts. His dark, spiky hair was still a little damp and skin was slightly pink from the heat of the shower. Of course Robert had seen him this way plenty of times before, but it was different now. He felt another spike of panic, but he shoved it down. They were just hanging out, this was normal, right? They were just going to stuff their faces with Thai food and watch some TV, nothing crazy.

“Hey,” David said, flopping next to him on the couch. “God, that smells amazing. I’m so hungry.”

“Me too,” Robert said, realizing that was absolutely true. He’d been thinking so hard about David that he’d not even realized he was starving. David started digging into the paper bag, passing out the food.

“Aww, you remembered my order, thanks,” David said, staring into a carton of almond chicken with a happy grin.

“Nah, that one’s mine,” Robert lied, chuckling when David looked confused.

“Oh, okay,” he said, handing it over and going to see what the other carton held. Robert laughed again and shoved his arm playfully.

“When are you going to learn not to take everything I say at face value? I was just messing with you, mate,” he said, handing the carton back.

“Well stop being such a good liar,” David said, trading cartons with him and fishing the chop sticks and smaller cartons of rice out of the bag.

“Never,” Robert said, taking some chopsticks and immediately shoving delicious vegetables in his mouth. “Oh hey, do you have a bottle opener?”

“Duh,” David said, shifting around some clutter on the coffee table and grabbing the bottle opener. He pulled 2 beers out of the bag and popped both tops.

They both dug into their food without much more talking, both of them too hungry to function.

 

_________________________________________________________________________

 

“Alright, so what do you wanna watch?” David said, finally full enough to think about something else. He grabbed the controller and got Netflix open, illuminating the dark room a little more. He should really get some lamps. 

“I don’t care,” Robert said, cracking open his second beer.

“The new season of Stranger Things just came out, we can start that,” David said.

“Maybe some other time, let’s do something a little less uh- story driven for now,” Robert said, taking a swig of beer and setting it on the table.

“We can watch Umbrella Academy,” David teased, hovering on the title card that was just Klaus smoking a cigarette with his pink umbrella.

“Absolutely not,” Robert said, but David hit play anyway. “Nooooo!!”

“Yesss,” David said, giggling as Robert made a grab for the controller.

David dodged it, but Robert leaned across him, trying to grab it. David leaned further away, making Robert practically crawl in his lap to get it from him. David tried but Robert succeeded, snatching it away and backing out of the show.

“Now I’m making you watch a boring documentary,” Robert teased, holding the controller out of David’s reach.

Of course that didn’t stop him, struggling across Robert’s lap to get it away again. They were both giggling like idiots, until David was laying fully across his lap. Robert’s stupid arms were too long, but David kept reaching anyway. He stopped giggling immediately when he felt a sharp smack on his ass, realizing Robert just fucking _spanked him_. He scrambled off Robert’s lap, blushing and sitting back down next to him.

“HA! I knew that would work,” Robert said triumphantly, like he didn’t just fuck David all up inside.

“You’re a jerk,” David said with mock-sadness, but really he was freaking out a little. It was nothing, Robert was just playing, it wasn’t supposed to be sexy in the least. And yet David was turned on now, much to his dismay. How was he supposed to think about anything else for the rest of his life? He could still feel the sting from Robert’s handprint on his buttcheek.

“You started it!” Robert said, giggling to himself as he scrolled through title cards. “Okay, we’re watching this.”

David glanced up at the screen. _The Great British Baking Show_. Okay, he could work with that. Maybe focusing on deserts would help him calm down.

Robert set the controller on the table, picked up his beer and leaned back on the couch, spreading himself out in total comfort. David was still feeling a little too anxious to settle in just yet, so he stayed on the edge of the seat, hiding that he may or may not have popped a bit of a boner. He was suddenly wishing that he would have put a shirt on so he could have tugged it down over his lap, but it was too late for that. He sighed and cracked open his second beer, which he drank half of with a few glugs.

“This is the best season,” Robert said conversationally as the intro finished. “I love Noel.”

“For sure,” David said casually, daring to finally lean back and settle in.

Maybe he should have scooted down so there was a whole cushion between them, but now it would seem weird if he just suddenly shifted. So many things he should have considered before the fact, like maybe having Robert over only an hour or so after blowing him not being very wise. David had hoped jerking off in the shower would have cleared his head, but instead he’d thought of Robert the whole damn time. Now all he could focus on was their knees and shoulders being so close. He was in too deep.

“Does anyone even know what choux pastry is?” David said, trying to get out of his own thoughts.

“I didn’t know it was called that until I watched this, but I’ve eaten loads of it,” Robert said, finishing his beer.

David watched Robert’s throat work as he swallowed and bit his lip. Why did everything Robert did have to be sexy? Even the way he was sprawled out was hot. He looked away quickly and tried to focus on the screen, chewing on his thumbnail anxiously.

“You seem tense,” Robert said, and David could feel his eyes on his face.

“What? No!,” David said, but it was too defensive. He was being weird, just like he said he wouldn’t be. Robert raised his eyebrows skeptically. “Okay, maybe a little.”

“It’s okay, so am I,” Robert admitted, and ten tons of weight lifted off David’s shoulders. He let out a shaky breath.

“Thank god, I’m sorry. I’m trying to be cool over here, but…”

“We can talk about it, it’s okay,” Robert said, clearly being the mature one here.

“Okay… what about it? Are you mad?” David said, shifting a little so he was facing Robert.

“God no, not at all,” Robert said, rolling his eyes and smiling. “I mean I don’t know exactly what I’m feeling, but it’s definitely not anger.”

“I just don’t want to mess anything up,” David said, looking down at the beer in his hand because looking at Robert’s face was too hard.

“It’s alright, Dave, nothing is messed up,” Robert said, nudging his knee against David’s. “I’m not sorry it happened.”

David looked at him, trying to gauge Robert’s sincerity. He was still smiling softly and openly, so David smiled back with a blush across his cheeks.

“Good, me either,” he said, starting to feel the effects of his beer. He wanted to kiss Robert so bad, but that would definitely make it weird.

“I’m a little surprised to say this, but… I wouldn’t be mad if it happened again, either,” Robert said, killing David instantly. “Un-unless that would be weird.”

“No, no! Fuck, are you sure?” David said, his voice cracking slightly from shock.

“Well, I’m not sure about like, being able to return the favor, so to speak, but-”

“That’s okay,” David said, still not believing his ears.

“Is it, though?” Robert said, frowning a little.

“I can take care of myself,” David said, daring to rest his hand on Robert’s thigh. He didn’t really want to think too deeply about it, but maybe it _wouldn’t_ be okay in the long run. He would cross that bridge later though, because for the time being he could blow Robert every day for like a year before he would even dare to dream about anything more.

“Sure, but that makes me sound so selfish. You deserve-” but David cut him off by leaning in and kissing him. He couldn’t contain himself any longer, all he needed to hear was that Robert was down.

Robert made a surprised sound in his throat but melted into the kiss, reaching up to cup David’s face. The instant flood of euphoria was amazing, David couldn’t believe he got to do this again. He slipped his tongue in Robert’s mouth and tasted beer and Thai spices on his breath. Robert’s hand on his cheek drifted down to his neck, giving it a little squeeze that made David’s arousal spike even further. He moaned softly into Robert’s mouth, moving the hand on his thigh up to Robert’s stomach. He snaked his hand under Robert’s shirt, dragging his nails over hip bones.

The position was awkward though, and David hoped he wasn’t about to ruin things with his next bold move. He broke the kiss long enough to shift his weight into one knee, swinging the other one over Robert’s lap with the grace of a professional stripper. Maybe it was too fast, maybe the intimacy was going to scare Robert off, but there were no protests as David rested his weight on Robert’s lap.The dark lust in Robert’s eyes was intoxicating, and he seemed to be into it, so David held his face with both hands and kissed him deeper.

Robert did exactly what David hoped he would do, resting his hands on David’s ass and giving it a squeeze. David whined softly and rolled his hips, the sudden friction on his lap making Robert gasp against his lips.

“Fuck, how are you so hot,” Robert whispered, slipping his hands under David’s shorts to get a better grip. David rolled his hips again and realized he could feel Robert’s cock stiffening in his jeans. His hands started to roam, down Robert’s neck, nails grazing over his collarbones and shoulders. He leaned back and tugged on Robert’s shirt, deciding he was wearing way too many clothes. Robert complied, leaning up so David could yank his tank top off and fling it across the room.

“Much better,” David purred, grinding down on Robert’s lap a little harder and smirking when Robert bit his lip and watched David’s hips move against him.

Robert’s hands gripped David’s hips and he rolled his own up against David’s ass. He could feel Robert’s cock against his balls and it was fucking electric. He gasped and kissed Robert again as he rode his lap.

“Mmm,” Robert mumbled into his mouth, one of the hands on David’s hip slipping down to rub over his crotch, hand grazing easily over the silky fabric.

“Oh, fuck,” David hissed, squeezing his eyes shut and freezing. He didn’t expect Robert to touch him like that and now he was well and truly sprung.

“Is that okay?” Robert asked softly, his hand stilling until he got a response.

“God, yes,” David said, holding onto Robert’s shoulders to ground himself. His mind and body were on fire, there was no way this was happening.

David bit his lip and looked down, watching Robert’s hand stroke him through his shorts and he could have died and gone to heaven right there. Robert let out a bit of a strained chuckle.

“I can’t believe I’m into this, but you make it so easy,” he said, hooking a finger under the waistband of David’s shorts and tugging down.

David wanted to be embarrassed as his exposed cock hung heavy between them, but he didn’t have time. Robert wrapped his fist around David’s dick and squeezed, making David gasp. He leaned back, rolling his ass against Robert’s lap and letting out a pretty moan.

“Oh, fuck,” he whispered harshly, bucking up into Robert’s fist as he swirled his thumb over David’s leaking tip.

There was no way this was the first time Robert jerked another guy off; he knew all the tricks, the right amount of pressure to use. David was seeing stars, panting as Robert easily brought him close to the edge in record time.

“You might wanna - _unngghnn_ \- slow your roll unless you want jizz on your chest,” David said between panting and moaning softly. Robert snorted.

“Go for it, babe,” he said, his voice so silky and sexy on top of the pet name that David came on command.

“ _Oh, my fucking God_ ,” he moaned, squeezing his eyes shut and leaning his forehead against Robert’s.

With his free hand Robert gripped the back of David’s neck, bringing his head down to kiss him hard as he worked David’s cock for all it was worth with the other. David trembled and whined against Robert’s mouth, nails clawing into Robert’s shoulders as he tried to keep a grip on his sanity. His heart was racing, but once the fog cleared all he could think about was getting Robert’s dick in his mouth.

He pulled back, momentarily struck by the sight of his come streaked across Robert’s chest and stomach. It was literally the hottest thing he had ever seen, hands down. He braced his hands on Robert’s chest and pushed his ass off the edge of Robert’s knees, sliding to the floor.

He pushed Robert’s legs apart, wedging himself between them so he could lean forward and kiss his stomach. Robert was watching him speechlessly, his mouth falling open as he watched David lap up some of the jizz from his stomach. David kissed his way down Robert’s pelvis, hands sliding up his thighs to undo his button and fly. He leaned back again, tugging at Robert’s jeans until Robert lifted his hips. David yanked his pants down as quickly as possible, until they were crumpled up around his ankles, and leaned back in. Robert’s cock was flushed and rock hard, leaking a little against his belly and David couldn’t wait to get his mouth on it.

He gave Robert’s hips a few more teasing kisses, resting his elbows on the couch at the side of Robert’s thighs. He licked from base to tip slowly, relishing the way Robert hissed and gripped his hair. Robert could pull his hair all day, it drove him wild in the best way. A few more slow, sexy licks had Robert begging for more.

“Please, you’re killing me,” he said, his voice raspy and fist tight in David’s hair. “Such a tease.”

David gave him a wicked smile before dipping his head and fully taking Robert in his mouth, managing to get all the way down without choking. He pulled back up slowly, making a show of it. He hadn’t had enough time earlier to tease Robert the way he wanted, so he made up for it now. He reached up and gripped Robert’s cock in his fist, allowing him to swirl his tongue over the tip and into the slit.

Robert squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip, soft moans escaping his throat. He needed more but David continued to tease, licking down his shaft and across his balls. He shuddered a little as David rolled his slick, hot tongue across his sac and back up from hilt to tip.

“ _Please,_ ” Robert whined again, followed by a groan as David took him all the way in his mouth again.

He bucked up, trying to get as deep as possible, but David held him down with his free hand over his lower abdomen. He may have let Robert take control earlier, but not this time. He bobbed his head a little quicker though, and Robert tangled his other hand in David’s hair.

“ _Don’t stop,_ ” he groaned, panting and writhing under the arm David was using to hold him down.

David twisted his wrist, squeezing Robert’s shaft as he bobbed his lips over the head of his cock. Robert was starting to ramble, a string of curses, moans and pleading. David’s cock was stirring again just from the noises he was drawing out of him, but there was no way he could come again so soon.

“ _David, fuck, fuck,_ ” Robert gasped, dragging the nails of one hand down David’s neck and shoulders.

Picking up the pace, David moaned with him around his cock. His jaw was starting to hurt, but he pressed on, dragging Robert right to the edge. He could feel Robert start to quake and he braced himself, holding onto Robert’s hips. He knew it was only a matter of moments before Robert was going to pop, and he was right.

“ _Fuck, gonna come_ ,” Robert said, squeezing his eyes tight as his body seized.

David swallowed, but some still leaked down Robert’s shaft. He pulled off with a loud pop and lapped at the rest, glancing up to watch Robert completely unravel by his touch. Robert collapsed back into the couch, covering his face with both hands as he panted heavily, little moans still sneaking out at the end of every exhale. David continued to stroke him softly, leaving little kisses on his hips as Robert came back down to Earth.

“Christ, that was insane,” Robert said, taking a huge breath and a long exhale. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked down at David. “Who am I? I can’t even remember my name.”

David chuckled and sat back on his heels, tongue licking the corner of his satisfied grin.

“I think I’m your new best friend,” David said, giving Robert’s knee a squeeze.

“I’ll say,” Robert said, sitting up and leaning down to give David a sweet kiss on the lips. “I think I need several cigarettes after that.”

“There’s an ashtray on the balcony,” David said, walking on his knees to get out of the way.

He watched Robert pull his jeans up to his knees, stand up and then pull them over his ass. He left them unzipped, grabbing his pack of smokes off the coffee table and heading out on the balcony. David was still reeling from what just happened, but he stood up on wobbly legs and followed him out.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Robert picked his lighter out of the pack and lit a cigarette, staring out at the city around him. His body felt boneless so he leaned his elbows on the railing, trying not to think too deeply about what just happened. It was just supposed to be hanging out, but they’d hardly spent longer than 45 minutes together before it turned into… what it did. And he had no one to blame but himself, he was absolutely the instigator. He certainly wasn’t angry or grossed out about it, but he was a little scared, and he couldn’t put his finger on exactly why. 

David followed him out, grabbed a little, black ashtray off a small patio table and picked out a half smoked blunt. He blew on it to get some older ashes off, put it in his lips and held his hand out for Robert’s lighter.

“Aren’t you worried about being caught?” Robert said, smiling as he handed the lighter over.

“No, it's legal here last I checked,” he said, shrugging and lighting the end. “I just use it to sleep for the most part these days, anyway. At least while I'm working.”

“Right. Do you usually have trouble sleeping?” Robert asked. He watched the smoke coil around David’s face. Hot.

“Sometimes, at least during the times I’m supposed to,” he said, coughing a little. Robert nodded.

They were silent for a few moments, both staring absently and lost in thought. It was a comfortable silence in spite of Robert’s mind trying to overthink.

“Alright, we should get to sleep. I can make up the couch,” David said, putting the blunt out after only a few hits. “Unless you’re going back home?”

“No, I’ll stay,” Robert said with a big yawn, also putting out his smoke and following David inside.

 

______________________________________________________________________

 

“David! Hey! Wake up, man! _We’re going to be late_ ,” Robert said, shaking David’s shoulder frantically. “Fuck, come on!” 

David groaned and rolled further on his stomach, smashing his face in his pillow.

“No, don’t go back to sleep!” Robert said, kneeling further on the bed to shake him some more. “It’s already 6:45, we’re fucked!”

That did it. David’s eyes snapped open and he rolled over, staring at Robert in horror.

“Why didn’t my alarm go off?” David said, shoving himself into a sitting position and snatching his phone off the edge of the bed.  

Through fuzzy eyes he could see that he’d fallen asleep with his phone still on the alarm screen, unset.

“I don’t know, but I think the plug in your living room is faulty, my phone died in the middle of the night,” Robert said, waving his dead phone in his hand.

“We don’t even have time to shower, and I’m disgusting,” David said, scrambling out of bed and pulling on some questionably clean-ish jeans off the floor.

“Yeah, no shit. I’m pretty sure I still have come on my chest, so that’s great,” Robert said, and David did _not_ have time to worry about _that_ , holy _shit_.

“If you’re ready go get in my car, I’ll be right there,” David said, digging around in his closet for a shirt that wouldn’t look stupid with black jeans. He ran out of the bedroom still tugging the t-shirt over his head. He stumbled into his shoes, grabbed his car keys off of the messy coffee table and bolted out the door, forgetting to even lock it.

 

\---

 

“Only 20 minutes late, not too bad,” Robert said, looking at himself in the visor mirror one last time before they got out. “Fuck, I’m a wreck, and look at this love bite, you heathen." 

David blushed but rolled his eyes. He couldn’t even be worried because he liked how the purple mark looked on Robert’s pale neck. Nobody would know he put it there, so he could just privately admire it without too many questions, hopefully.

“You love it,” David said with a wink, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out.

 

\---

 

They scrambled as fast as possible into the studio and over to hair and makeup. They were in separate rooms for that today, so they split up, but not before Justin saw them coming in late together. He stood at the door that David needed to go into, smiling like a cat that got the mouse. David’s heart sank. So much for nobody knowing.

“You are so telling me what happened,” Justin said, shoving his phone in his Ben-jacket pocket and following David into the room.

“Nothing happened,” David said, sitting in the stylist’s chair and greeting her. “Sorry I’m late, Carol.”

“I saw him go to your apartment last night, and you guys are late this morning!” Justin said, sitting in the empty chair next to David, still grinning like a fool. “I’m no scientist, but the evidence is against you, here, buddy.”

“That doesn’t mean anything! We were just playing games all night, relax,” David said, but he knew his mad blush was giving him away. Fuck, there was no lying to Justin. He’d forgotten that Justin lived in his building and might have noticed Robert come over.

“I’ve never seen Robbie play video games in my life, you big fat liar,” Justin said, kicking David’s foot playfully with his boot. Carol was trying so hard to act like she wasn’t listening as she started wetting his hair with a spray bottle, but David caught her fighting a smile in the mirror.

“Oh my god, can we discuss this later?” David said, covering his blush-hot face with both hands.

“Sure, but your face is already speaking volumes,” Justin said, giggling to himself with the most self-satisfied smile.

David was going to kill him, and then himself for being the worst liar of all time. Literally all he had to do was not _act_ guilty, and he couldn’t manage it for 5 god damn minutes. It was going to be a long day.

 

__________________________________________________________________________

 

They broke for lunch, and Robert could hardly wait because he was ravenous. They hadn’t had time to eat that morning before racing into work, so he loaded his plate with more food than he could probably eat. Luckily his makeup artist didn’t question the hickey, and it was covered with enough foundation to build a house on, so nobody else should either. 

He sat at a table with Ellen and Tom, who were both absorbed in their scripts for the next scene. They greeted him and went back to reading, and he was more than thankful to be ignored as he tucked into a mountain of food. He was purposely avoiding sitting with David, who looked like he wanted to die as he sat at a table with Justin, Aidan and Emmy.

He noted how good David looked in his ridiculous Diego getup, all belts and black leather. His mind drifted to the night before, remembering how fucking great David looked riding his lap. How hot it was to grab his ass, and to kiss David and taste himself on his lips. He would never admit it out loud, but he kind of wanted more. Like, if David asked, he would bend him over a table right now, probably. Maybe. Maybe it was too fast, even for casual sex, because he didn’t actually know what he was doing, literally or metaphorically.\

He’d never fucked a guy before, but it couldn’t be that different than doing butt stuff with a girl, right? But it was different because David was important to him, he didn’t want to fuck up their friendship with sex. He figured that’s where his lingering fear was coming from, because he’d never had a friends-with-benefits situation that didn’t turn sour over time. Just the same, he was deadly curious what David would sound like getting fucked. It would be outrageously hot, judging by the way he already sounded last night.

Was this cat willing to be killed to satisfy the curiosity? _Yeah, most likely,_ he thought.

“Ah-hem,” Ellen said, kicking Robert in the shin lightly. He snapped his attention to her, realizing that he’d been so lost in thought that he forgot other people could see him. It appeared that Tom had disappeared to get more food, though.

“What?” he said, like he hadn’t just been having the most explicit pornographic thoughts in his head.

“Your crush is showing, more than usual,” she said quietly, smiling at him and then looking at David.

“I do _not_ have a crush on him,” Robert said, except it was much more convincing than David lying to Justin. Unfortunately for him, Ellen was way more in tune with her 'gaydar' than anyone else here.

“Okay, then why did you just spread barbeque sauce on your biscuit instead of jam?” she said, reaching out and putting her hand over his that was still clutching a butter knife. “You can’t take your eyes off him, honey.”

“It’s not like that, honestly,” he said, laughing a little. “We’re just friends, I swear to God.”

“Friends that make out sometimes?” she said, also giggling and slapping his hand.

“No! We’ve definitely never done that,” he said, rolling his eyes.

She didn’t have time to press him any further because Emmy walked up to their table.

“Hey, we’re going out tonight after work since it’s an early day. Do you guys want to come?” she said, resting her hand on Robert’s shoulder.

“I’ll have to pass,” Ellen said. “Emma is in town tonight, we’re supposed to go to a fancy dinner.”

“Aww, okay. Tell her I said hello,” Emmy said, turning her attention to Robert. “I know you’re game. David’s going.”

Robert frowned a little about her singling David out to him. Did everyone assume they were sweet on each other, or what? He chose not to mention it though, else Ellen accuse him of protesting too much.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, tossing his unfortunately-barbequed biscuit on the plate. “I could use some heavy drinking, honestly. Been a long week.”

“Agreed,” Emmy said, patting his shoulder. “Ugh, speaking of, lunch is almost over.”

“I feel like I just sat down,” Robert said, frowning at his half-eaten plate.

“You were busy staring,” Ellen said, giggling again.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

David was definitely too tired for this, but he pulled into a parking space at the designated rendezvous area anyway. A brand new nightclub in town called Toybox. After an extra long shower and an even longer just-a-towel lounge afterward, he did feel a little better, though. At least well enough to make an appearance. Robert didn’t answer his text asking what time he planned on showing up, and that was annoying him a little. Of course Robert wasn’t obligated to respond, but David was still taking it personally anyway. Maybe he was pissed about them being late that morning? Maybe he was pissed that he’d let things get out of control with David the night before? Maybe he was- 

A knock on his driver’s side window made him hit the roof. Cameron.

“Fuck, you scared the crap out of me,” he said, trying to calm his heart as he rolled the window down to talk to Cameron.

“Sorry, everyone’s already inside. We’re late,” Cameron said, looking down at his watch.

“This place looks uh, pretty crazy,” David said as he got out of the car, noticing a girl walk by in the shortest, sparkliest dress he’d ever seen. “I feel underdressed.”

“I know, I wish for once Emmy would pick a nice, casual bar instead of a club. I already have a headache and we’re not even in there yet,” Cameron said. David nodded, falling in step with him as they came up to the front door. He could already hear the thudding of bass from the parking lot.

The line at the entrance was long, but Emmy had sent everyone a text telling them to just go straight to the bouncer at the front. A nice perk of being “famous,” they didn’t have to wait in line like everyone else.

“Cameron and David, with Emmy Raver,” Cameron said, and the bouncer checked his clipboard and nodded with an apathetic expression.

“Go on in,” he said, moving the velvet rope for them to pass.

It was so dark and loud, and smelled like smoke and sweat and bad decisions. It was honestly making David get a little more excited, like a Pavlovian response to times in the past when he’d had an unbelievably great time at places like this. So he decided to shake off any baggage he was carrying, and let himself click into party mode.

Flashing purple and green lights streaked out across the dance floor, the DJ was playing a pretty good techno remix of a hip hop song he recognized, there was glitter streaked across the floor, half naked waiters carrying huge trays of shots above their heads. Yeah, he could get into this.

“Hey David, Cam, over here!” he heard someone faintly yell through the chaos.

“Oh hey, there they are,” Cameron said, pointing over David’s head to a table with half-moon booth seating close to the bar. There was one sad excuse of a light bulb hanging over their table, illuminating his friends.

As they weaved through the crowd, David took note that Robert was on one of the ends, and he was absolutely going to sit next to him. Cameron better not even think about it. He could sit next to Jordan, damn it. Jordan was on the other end next to Emmy, who was next to Justin in the middle, next to Tom, next to Robert. David might have hurried a little to beat Cameron there, but surely nobody noticed.

“Hey, thought you were skipping out on me,” Robert said loudly, scooting closer to Tom on the red leather seat to make room. He immediately put his arm around David and clapped him on the shoulder when he sat down, making David’s blood pressure spike. He was wearing a pretty white and green paisley top that could only be described as a “blouse,” buttons open practically down to his navel, and it brought out his eyes like crazy. David swooned a little on the inside.

“You’re the one that never responded to me about a time, jerk,” David said, poking Robert in the ribs.

“Oh shit, really?” Robert said, picking up his phone off the table in front them and glancing at it. “I didn’t even notice, sorry, man!”

And then David felt stupid for overthinking, naturally. He shrugged it off though, because there was already a tray of shots and salt shakers on the table and he was ready to get stupid. Especially because he clocked Justin grinning at him like an asshole as soon as Robert put his arm around him. He would deal with that later, because so far he’d dodged all Justin’s probing questions about the night before. For now, liquor.

“May I?” he yelled to anyone that was listening, pointing to the shots.\

“Oh, hell yeah! We were just waiting for you guys,” Emmy said, starting to dole out the shots.

David sniffed it. Fuck yeah, Patrón. Emmy never went for cheap liquor and that’s why he loved her. He licked the indent between his thumb and forefinger, sprinkled it with some salt, licked it off and knocked the shot back.

The problem with tequila is that the first shot burns, and maybe the second one isn’t like candy either, but after that, they go down like soda. It turns your mouth on, your mind off, and sometimes your clothes end up on the floor or on other people, or in worst case scenarios they end up on the lawn of wherever you are. It was still his favorite thing to drink, though. He felt the burn through his entire chest, a welcome sensation after a long, hard week.   

“Fuck, I hate tequila,” Robert said with a ragged voice, biting into a lime and grimacing.

“You don’t know what’s good,” Emmy said, dropping her bitten lime in the shot glass.

“Sorry, I’m not looking to throw up in 20 minutes,” Robert said, playfully giving her the finger.

“Hey, what can I get you guys?” a waitress in metallic purple hot pants said, drawing everyone’s attention.

“Another round for me,” Emmy said, pointing at the tray of empty shot glasses.

“Me too,” David said, setting his glass on the tray.

“Alright, me too,” Justin said.

“I’ll take a Manhattan, no cherry,” Jordan said.

“Just a Killian’s for me,” Tom said, like the dad he was.

“Same for me,” Cameron said.

“Champagne cocktail, also no cherry,” Robert said last.

“Alright, be right back!” the cheery waitress said, taking their empty tray.

 

\---

 

“So are we gonna dance or what?” Jordan yelled over the music, interrupting the most boring work chatter that David had ever suffered through. 

He was happy for a change of pace. That second shot of tequila was making his cheeks warm, and he’d tuned out the conversation at least 4 minutes ago as the DJ started playing a good song.

“Yeah, let’s go!” Emmy said.

David slid out of the booth and Robert followed. Cameron stood up and let Emmy, Justin and Jordan out and sat back down.

“Have fun,” Tom said, waving them on. “I can’t be caught dead dancing with strangers.”

“So dance with me,” Emmy said, holding her hand out.

“Maybe in a little bit,” he said, waving her on again. “I’m gonna hold down the fort with Cam right now..”

  
David was already halfway to the dance floor, nodding his head enthusiastically to the beat. He was officially pumped. Of course he couldn’t dance with Robert, not with everyone watching. So he took Jordan’s hand, and she seemed more than happy to dance with him. He didn’t know the song but it didn’t matter, they both jumped around to the beat anyway. 

He was feeling himself, breaking out some of his best dance moves, until he noticed Robert dancing with a random blonde girl in a leopard print dress. Her hands were around his neck, their hips moving too close. _No_ , he was not going to be jealous. It was just dancing - until she leaned in and whispered in his ear. Robert’s hands wrapped around her waist and he laughed at whatever she said.

“You alright?” Jordan yelled at him over the music. He snapped his attention back to her.

“Yeah - yeah, I think I need another drink,” he said, close to her face. She nodded and danced away to find a stranger to replace him.

Thankfully, a waiter carrying a tray of shots in glass vials was close. He flagged him down and chose a couple orange and red shots, paid and tipped the waiter and immediately knocked one of the shots back.

“Ooo, that looks good, what is that?” Justin said, coming up next to David.

“Sex on the Beach,” he said, downing the second one and setting both vials back on the waiter’s tray.

“You’re mixing vodka and tequila this early? You’re gonna get trashed, man,” Justin said, also plucking a couple shots off the waiter’s tray.

“That’s the goal, isn’t it?” David said, deciding he was going to be a real dick and interrupt Robert anyway. He threw some more bills on the waiter’s tray and asked him to bring a champagne cocktail.

“Dance with me,” Justin said, downing both shots and setting the vials on the waiter’s tray before he took off.

David knew what was coming, but he agreed anyway, finding the rhythm again. A remix of Blow Your Mind by Dua Lipa was playing, and David would be a liar if he said he didn’t love this song.  

“Alright you’ve been avoiding it all day, now spill,” Justin said, dancing as close to David as possible without touching him.

“What do you want to know, exactly,” David said, feeling his lips start to tingle from all the liquor - the first sign that he was well on his way to Drunk Town. The anxiety of telling Justin didn’t seem as strong now that he was buzzed and feeling a little spiteful. He chanced a glance at Robert, still dancing with the same girl.

“Did you sleep with him?” Justin said, rolling his eyes, because did he really need to spell it out?

“Not yet,” David said, laughing out loud at the way Justin’s mouth fell open.

“What do you mean ‘not yet?’ So, is that also the goal?”

“Maybe,” David said, biting his lip and glancing at Robert again even though it was painful to watch. Did that girl really need to be that handsy?

“You know he’s supposedly straight, right?” Justin yelled.

“Well he wasn’t complaining when I got him off last night,” David said, turning his attention back to Justin and winking.

“Oh my god, I knew it,” Justin said, dropping his head on David’s shoulder and laughing, clearly overwhelmed by the information.

“Just keep your mouth shut, alright? I don’t want to scare him off with everyone teasing him,” David said in his ear, giving Justin a clap on the back.

“No problem, I would never tell a soul,” Justin said, picking his head up and beaming at David like a proud father.

The waiter returned and handed David the cocktail, and he remembered his plan.

“I’m gonna go, uh…” he trailed off, wandering away from Justin and over to Robert. He gracelessly interrupted, sticking the drink in Robert’s face.

“Oh, thanks,” Robert said, letting go of the girl and taking the glass. Exactly as planned.

“Wanna dance?” David said, the alcohol making him not give a single shit if anyone was watching. He noticed the girl frowning at him out of the corner of his eye, and Robert glanced at her too, and then back at David. Robert smiled because he finally realized this was intentional.

“Yeah, sure,” he said, taking a sip of his drink as the girl all but stomped her foot and stormed away.

“Fuck, I love this song,” David said, dancing a safe distance from Robert. He didn’t want to be much more forward than he’d already been.

“Were you jealous,” Robert said, leaning in and purring it in David’s ear, giving him goosebumps. David dared to put his hands on Robert’s ribs, leaning closer too.

“What if I was?” he said, as cheeky as he could be over the loud music - Baby Boy by Beyonce and Sean Paul, a sexy throwback.

Robert didn’t respond, just gave him a sly smirk and wrapped an arm around David’s waist, pulling him closer with one arm. David let himself be lost in it, probably too lost, getting high on the feel of Robert’s hot body swaying against his own, the smell of his cologne, the way Robert’s fingers had somehow gotten under his shirt on the small of his back. He dared to let his lips brush against Robert’s neck, and maybe that was too far.

“I’m going to go set this down,” Robert said, shaking his empty glass. David nodded but felt a little brushed off, even though he knew it was definitely annoying to dance with a drink in your hand. “Do you want anything else?”

“Nah, I think I’m good for a while,” David said, realizing he was indeed pretty drunk as those Sex on the Beach shots caught up with him. “I’m gonna find the bathroom.”

“Alright, catch you in a bit,” Robert said, leaving David on the dance floor.

 

______________________________________________________________________

 

Robert set his empty glass on the bar and flagged the bartender, ordering a beer. He was a little overheated from the liquor and a little frustrated, feeling conflicted about David. He paid for his beer and went in search of the smoking area. He needed some fresh air.

He found the door to the patio, making his way outside and sitting on a bench. He lit a smoke, then took a few sips of his beer. He stared absently at a group of drunk girls that were taking group selfies at a table in front of him. If this was any other night, Robert might have went over and flirted with them, but tonight his mind was on David instead. The amount that he wanted to kiss David on the dancefloor worried him, but not as much as David being jealous of the girl he’d been dancing with. It was flattering, for sure, but also a little telling.

This was supposed to be casual, just a couple of friends occasionally getting each other off - but he was starting to wonder if maybe it was something more serious for David. Robert wanted him, on a level he never expected to want a guy. He’d been thinking about getting him naked again pretty much all day, and he already admitted to himself that he was open to going all the way with him. But what if it made David catch feelings? On that note, he downed his beer. 

“Hey, you alright?” Tom said, breaking Robert out of his thoughts. Robert looked up at him and shrugged. He was feeling a little too drunk to lie.

“I have no idea,” he said, laughing a little humorlessly.

“What’s going on?” Tom asked, seeming genuinely concerned.

“Just trying to decide if something is worth the risk,” he said honestly, wishing he’d had another beer.

“Care to elaborate?”

“Not really, no offense. It’s silly,” Robert said, scratching his hair.

“Well, you’re not usually one to consider the consequences, so I say go for it, if it’s something you want,” Tom said.

“But what if someone gets hurt?” Robert said, slouching down on the bench and taking a puff off his cigarette.

“But what if someone doesn’t? You’ll never know unless you act,” Tom said, surprising Robert a little. He wasn’t one to advocate for taking risks, generally, especially without all the facts. Robert was suddenly suspicious that maybe Tom knew what he was talking about.

“I guess,” Robert said, and then realized that Tom would typically never be caught dead on the smoking deck. “Oh, hey, are you leaving or something?”

“Yeah, I think I’m getting too old for this scene,” he said with a laugh.

“Oh, shit, sorry. Here I am spilling my sorrows and you’re trying to leave,” Robert said, sticking his butt in an ashtray by the bench and standing up to hug Tom goodbye.

“No worries, you know I like to listen,” he said, giving Robert a tight squeeze and shoulder pat. “Don’t be scared to get what you want, brother.”

Robert laughed, and somehow felt a little more at ease just from Tom’s tone of voice.

“Yeah, alright,” he said, walking back in the building with him.

 

\---

 

Robert had only been gone maybe 15 minutes, but in that time it appeared that David and Justin had found each other on the dance floor again. They were holding beers over their heads and dancing like morons to a slow R&B song, but in a playfully sexy way. For a split second Robert felt a flash of jealousy, then immediately laughed at himself and shook his head at his own hypocrisy. No reason to be jealous of Justin anyway, those two were never serious when they flirted. Still, he felt compelled to interrupt, and he would definitely file that compulsion away to think about later.

 As soon as Robert walked up Justin and David greeted him with drunken enthusiasm.

“Heeeeyyy, I missed you,” David said, his tone and expression so unexpectedly sensual it gave Robert chills and hot flashes at the same time. 

“I’ve not been gone long,” Robert said with a smile, grabbing David’s beer and taking a sip.

Justin coughed. “I’m gonna go uh… get another beer,” he said, with the most obvious _I-see-what’s-going-on-here_ face. Robert narrowed his eyes at him and tried to nod casually.

“Did you tell Justin?” Robert asked once he was gone, but David wrapped an arm around him and pressed against him. He was just this side of drunk enough to not actually be worried, about Justin or the fact that anyone watching could see how close they were.

“No, but he guessed,” David said distractedly, wrapping the other arm around Robert’s back and making him sway with the beat. He leaned closer in and spoke in Robert’s ear, “You make it so hard to hide that I’m into you.”

“Fuck,” Robert breathed, closing his eyes for a few seconds to ground himself, not prepared for being so turned on in public. He hooked the arm not holding a beer around David’s shoulder, staring at David’s perfect mouth. “Wish I could kiss you right now.”

“We can get out of here,” David said, but the way his face was tilted toward Robert was too perfect, the flutter of his eyelashes, lips parted - Robert kissed him, short and soft, just a brush of lips. It set Robert on fire, and the thought of having to wait until they got home to get naked was torture. Every time he kissed David his sex drive spiked from about an average 10-20 at any given time, to 100 instantly.

“Yeah, alright,” Robert said, disentangling himself and slamming the rest of David’s beer. “We better before I do something we’ll regret tomorrow.”

“Hell yesss,” David said, biting his lip and pulling out his phone to catch an Uber. No way either of them could drive right now.

 

___________________________________________________________________________

 

“Did...  did I just see Robbie and David leave… together?” Emmy said, sitting down at the table with Justin and Cameron. She was sweaty and panting a bit from dancing like crazy.

“I believe so, yes,” Justin said, giggling to himself and sliding down the booth seat. “They’re so gonna boooone.”

“Really?!” Emmy said, covering her mouth with her hands. “I did not see that coming!”

“You must not spend much time with both of them together off set,” Cameron said, rolling his eyes from behind his phone. “Trust me, it’s a long time coming - _cough_ \- so to speak.”

“Rob literally just kissed him in front of the whole club, he must have it bad because that’s not like him,” Justin said, barely containing his giddiness. He sobered up just a little as a thought occurred to him. “But don’t give them shit about it.”

“What do you mean?” Emmy said, taking a sip of Jordan’s abandoned cocktail.

“David said he’s afraid of Robert being scared off if anyone hassles him about it,” Justin said, suddenly feeling bad for breaking his word. “I swore I wouldn’t say anything, but that was quite a display out there so. Not my fault.”

“Literally no one is going to hassle him about it,” Cameron said, setting his phone down. “I could not possibly care less.”

“Right, of course. I’m just happy they are happy,” Emmy said sincerely.

“Just the same, let them tell us when they are ready,” Justin said, feeling so many warm fuzzies for his best friends.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Luckily this club was hopping and a typical stop, so they were able to catch an Uber pretty easily. While they waited David had gotten handsy, wrapping his arms around Robert from the back and feeling on his chest. Robert laughed and tried to brush him away even though he was definitely into it. They were still in public afterall. The car pulled up, a decent sized SUV with tinted back windows, and Robert got in first, followed by David.

“For your discretion?,” Robert said, handing the driver a $100 bill.

“Uh, sure,” the driver said, giving him a confused look and taking the cash. Clearly he had no idea who they were, which was even better.

David was not confused, though. He knew exactly what Robert meant and he took advantage immediately. He wrapped his hand around the side of Robert’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss, rubbing his thumb along the pressure point. Robert moaned a little against David’s mouth, shifting so he could hold both sides of his face and kiss him proper. He slipped his tongue along David’s, still not understanding why he was so into this as David kissed him breathless. He was done questioning for the night, though, because he figured from this point on nothing was going to make sense other than getting naked as fast as possible. He already decided he was going to go for it hours ago, so he went for it, letting liquor and lust lead the way.

By the end of the ride David had slipped a hand in his open shirt, nails scratching lightly over skin and teeth nipping at his neck. David had Robert’s back pressed up against the car door, basically in his lap with roaming hands and searing kisses. Somehow just the scratch of David’s beard against his neck was so fucking sexy, he was melting like a molten puddle in this random stranger’s back seat.

The driver cleared his throat awkwardly.

“I believe this is your stop,” he said, pointedly staring straight ahead.

David whined and reluctantly pulled back so Robert could compose himself enough to open the door behind him. They practically spilled out onto the curb in front of David’s apartment, both tipsy and lust drunk in the best way.

“Oh my God, you live on the 4th floor,” Robert whined, but David kissed him quiet. He hadn’t checked their surroundings, but at that point he didn’t care, kissing him right back under the beam of a streetlight.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

They managed to make it up to David’s door without losing momentum. David was fumbling with the door keys as Robert wrapped his arms around him from behind, nuzzling and nipping his neck. David pressed his hands against the door frame and pushed his ass back into Robert’s dick, making him moan in David’s ear.

 “What’s the hold up,” Robert whispered impatiently.

 “You’re distracting me,” David said, trying to focus on the keys again with shaking hands.

 “Wanna fuck you,” Robert whispered against his neck, shocking him bone-deep.

 “Ar-are you serious?” David said, his voice a little strangled. He turned around in Robert’s arms and put his fingers to Robert’s lips that were trying to kiss him. “Pause, I need to know you really fucking want that before we go in here.”

“Yes,” Robert said, squeezing him around the middle and kissing his jaw instead. “Been thinking about it all day.”

“ _Holy fuuuck_ ,” David breathed, squeezing his eyes shut for a minute and turning back around. He managed to get the door open, but he still couldn’t _believe_ he was about to get nailed by his #1 fantasy.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

They bypassed the couch this time, stumbling down the hall to David’s bedroom while trying to keep their lips as close as possible. The connecting bathroom light was shining into the bedroom, and Robert realized he unfortunately had to pee immediately. He reluctantly took his hands off David. 

“Be right back, sorry,” he said, zooming into the bathroom at top speed.

It was basically impossible to piss with a hard-on, semi or otherwise, but he managed it and washed his hands at top speed. By the time he returned to the room David had programmed his Alexa to play music quietly, which was probably for the best. He had also plugged in the string of soft white Christmas lights over his bedroom window, and Robert actually chuckled about how cute David was for setting the mood.

David came back in the room, his shirt and pants missing, quickly stifling Robert’s laugh. Seeing him in just his black boxer-briefs reminded Robert exactly why he was here, and he gawked for a second.

“Well now I’m overdressed,” Robert said, reaching for the buttons on his shirt as David moved in close to him.

“Let me,” he said, hooking his finger in Robert’s belt loop and pulling him even closer.

As David popped the last 3 or 4 buttons on his shirt, Robert kissed him softly. The mood had shifted slightly from a desperate, drunken fever pitch to steady and sultry, and it was honestly probably a better pace. The booze was starting to wear off a bit, and he realized that what he was about to do was kind of a big deal. He didn’t want to hurt David by being too impatient and blinded by passion.

“You still sure?” David asked again, his hand resting on Robert’s jeans button and his eyes forcing contact.

“Yes, I swear to God, I want you,” Robert said, shrugging off his shirt and kissing David again, hoping to impress his sincerity on him with his lips.

David got his fly open and Robert started walking forward, backing David up to the bed until he sat on the edge, then moved between his knees. He gazed down as David leaned in and kissed his stomach, and then his hip bones, tongue dipping into the creases of his pelvis just above his underwear. His breath quickened and he threaded his hands in David’s hair as his jeans fell off his hips, puddling around his ankles. David reached up and gripped Robert by the back of his naked thighs just under his ass, ducking his head to drag his hot tongue over the bulge in Robert’s underwear. Nobody had ever grabbed him there like that, turns out he was super into it. He let out a shaky exhale and patted David’s shoulder.

“Scoot up,” Robert said.

He watched David crawl back on the black sheets, admiring how fucking beautiful he was as he positioned himself to lie back on the pillows. David looked at him with textbook bedroom eyes, wet lips parted, and Robert was beyond pleased to be crawling up the bed over top of him on his knees. He stopped to give David’s thighs some wet, sloppy kisses, and then his hips, stomach and then his chest. He loved nipple rings too, swirling his tongue around David’s pierced nipple and sucking it into his mouth. He smirked to himself as David hissed and gripped the sheets, watching Robert with his lip bit and eyebrows knitted. He loved how it made David squirm under him, it was one of Robert’s favorite things about him. The way he was so eager and responsive to Robert’s touch, never shy about how much he desired it.

David reached his right hand up to grab a fistful of hair at the nape of Robert’s neck, pulling him up for a hard kiss. He slid his arm under David’s right shoulder, the other hand gripping David around the throat as he kissed back enthusiastically. David surprised him and hooked his ankle behind Robert’s knee, dragging down until he dropped against David’s body. Their heated cocks brushed up against each other through cotton, making him moan into David’s mouth as he rested his full weight between David’s legs. The sensation sent sparks through Robert’s body, so he experimented, bucking his hips for more friction. David whined and lifted his hips too, rutting up against him even harder. It was so hot Robert probably could come in his underwear just like this, dry frotting like a horny teenagers. Especially when David reached down and gripped his ass with the hand that wasn’t currently pulling his hair, bringing their bodies impossibly closer.

Robert wasn’t sure how much time had passed as they made out and grinded their hips together, but he wanted more before he came. He couldn’t believe how hot David could get him just from fucking foreplay, but he was on a mission.

“Pants off,” he said against David’s mouth, dragging teeth across his bottom lip and nipping his chin before pushing himself back up on his knees.

David complied immediately, lifting his hips and shimmying his underwear off and flinging them across the room. Robert just slid his own down to his knees because he got distracted by David’s hard, leaking cock against his stomach. Another time he would lean down and taste it, but he wasn’t quite sure he was ready for that yet. Instead he leaned forward on one palm, taking David’s cock in his other hand and giving it a few strokes. He watched David’s chest and stomach rise and fall rapidly as he gasped and clenched at the sheets again.

“Come back,” David whispered roughly, letting go of the sheets to grip Robert’s whole jaw in his hand and pull him back down on top of him. Robert slid both hands back under David’s shoulders, dropping his face against the side of David’s neck as their cocks pressed together again. It felt even better without underwear in the way. He groaned and bit at Davids throat, leaving a revenge love bite for David to find in the morning. David’s hands were in his hair again, a leg hooking behind Robert’s thigh so he could feel David’s toes graze softly against the back of his calf. It was such a tender touch that it sent a little spike of fear through him. They weren’t supposed to be _making love_ , here.

“Wanna fuck you,” he whispered against David’s jaw. David moaned softly and nodded his head.

“Do you uh, do you know how?” David asked through soft panting. Robert let out a little bark of laughter.

“I think so?” he said, shifting his weight a little until his left hip and elbow were resting on the bed on David’s right side. It couldn’t honestly be that different, right? “We need lube, yes?”

David turned his upper body to reach for the bedside drawer, the shift grinding Robert’s cock into his hip. Robert’s elbow almost buckled under him from the pressure, but he held it together, instead reaching his right hand down and give David’s cock some attention.

“ _Fuuuck_ ,” David gasped, not expecting the touch as he laid his upper body back down on the pillows. He held a condom and small bottle of lube up in Robert’s face. Oh, _right_ , a condom. Shame on him for not even thinking of that.

He took them both, dropping the condom on David’s chest and clicking open the lube cap with his teeth. He managed to get some on his fingers one handed, closed the cap with his chin and let the bottle fall next to David’s other side.

David must have sensed that Robert was suddenly not quite sure how to start, because he took Robert’s wrist with his right hand and guided it down. Robert let him lead, trying to keep his cool as he brushed his slippery fingers into David’s crack. David bit his lip and lifted his his knee that Robert wasn’t lying on, giving him better access. The tension was heavy, Robert was getting a little nervous and could hardly look at David’s face as he stroked his middle finger in slow circles around David’s asshole.

He decided to focus on David’s chest, dipping his head to suck the unpierced nipple in his mouth while he started pressing his middle finger inside. David moaned on a heavy exhale, running his right hand up Robert’s shoulder and over his back, lightly raking his nails over Robert’s shoulder blades. His other arm draped over his face, panting and lifting his hips ever so slightly, pushing up against Robert’s finger to take it deeper.

It was unbelievably tight, but he twisted his finger through the muscle until it glided in and out a little easier. David moaned and moved the arm off his face to grip the black metal bars of the headboard, which was so sexy to see that Robert moaned too.

“More,” David said, almost too quiet to hear. Robert obeyed, pressing his forefinger in next to the other one.

David hissed and hooked his knee over Robert’s elbow, using it to lift his ass and push Robert’s fingers in more. Robert bit his lip and writhed his hips against David’s body a little for some pressure on his aching cock. Soon David was panting and riding his hand, using his knee and arm gripping the bars for more leverage. He was so sexy to watch, lost in the moment with his eyes squeezed shut and mouth open and panting with every twist of Robert’s fingers.

Robert wasn’t sure if it was enough, but David seemed to think it was. He let go of the bars, pushing his hand against Robert’s bicep to get him to pull out. They disentangled, Robert sitting back up on his knees between David’s legs. David sat up, catching the condom as it fell from his chest. Robert watched him tear it open with his teeth, immediately leaning in for a kiss after. He rested his hands on David’s shoulders, gasping against his lips as he felt David reach for his cock and give it several tight strokes. It wasn’t necessary, he was still just as stiff as ever, but it felt amazing, anyway. He looked down between them as David rolled the condom on him, marveling at how good his cock looked with David’s hands on it.

David’s hands were on his ribs next, pushing him all the way back until he was sat on his heels. Robert was certainly not expecting it, but David rolled over in front of him and hugged one of his pillows to his chest. Robert gripped his dick in one hand and reached out to squeeze one of David’s cheeks in the other. He never in his life expected to see David like this, laid out in front of him, eagerly waiting for his cock. His heart was pounding in his ears, cock throbbing in his hand. _This was really fucking happening._

“Here,” David whispered, reaching back to hand him the bottle of lube.

He took it, his hand shaking slightly as he dripped some down David’s crack. He tossed the bottle to the other side of the bed and slid his fingers along David’s hole again, working it in a little more just to be safe. He couldn’t tell if he was even breathing as he leaned forward on his palms and then gripped one of David’s hips, lifting him up on his knees.

Robert tried to take a steadying breath as he rubbed his slick cock over David’s entrance, and he bit his lip so hard it might bleed as he pushed in. They both moaned together, David’s body tensing slightly before relaxing on a deep breath in and out. White hot pleasure washed over Robert’s whole body as he sank in all the way. He gripped David’s hips hard, waiting just a moment for David to adjust before sliding back out slowly. It was almost too much, Robert had to stop himself from finishing selfishly with a few hard thrusts. It would have been that easy, he was halfway there just from hearing David’s vocal sighs of pleasure.

“ _Just go for it_ ,” David whined, pushing back on Robert’s dick.

So he did, leaning over and dropping down to his palms on either side of David’s ribs. He thrust his hips, panting heavily as he went a little faster and deeper. David rocked back on him again, somehow taking control even though he was the one getting fucked here. Robert twisted his fists in the sheets and groaned, focusing all his energy on not coming too fast as David fucked himself on his dick. His arms were starting to tremble, every nerve in his body was wound up like a wire ready to snap.

“ _Oh, fuck, oh, fuck,_ ” David moaned repeatedly. Robert moaned with him, feeling his balls tightening and vision blacking out.

He finally snapped, groaning loudly and falling against David’s back. His weight pushed David off his knees, and Robert tried to keep thrusting through his flood of pleasure, trying to get David there too. He held David’s ribs and kissed his shoulders as he rode out his climax, leaving little nips between hoarse moans. David was panting with soft little whines, and Robert knew his cock was straining against the mattress.

As soon as he regained an ounce of sanity he slid his right hand down David’s ribs and side, snaking it under him. He shifted so David could lift his hips, having just enough space to fist his cock. He continued to leave sweet kisses along David’s shoulders, still moaning softly with him as he jerked him off. It only took a few moments, David squeezing his eyes shut and biting the pillow under his face as he spilled over Robert’s fingers.

Robert wiped his hand on the sheets at the edge of the bed, rolling over on his back even though all his muscles protested. He slid the condom off, tied it up and flung it gracelessly off the edge of the bed with weak arms. David rolled on his side to face him, his expression unreadable as they both tried to get control of their breath.

“You okay?” David asked, and it was so uncertain that Robert felt guilty in spite of still being in post-fuck nirvana.

“Fuck, I’ve never been more okay,” he said, giving David a reassuring smile and reaching up to pet his cheek. “I’m not going to be able to move tomorrow, though.”

David laughed and nodded.

“That’s how you know it was good, then,” he said, looking a little bashful in the warm white Christmas light.

Robert reached up to cup David’s neck and bring him up against his own body for a soft kiss, completely ignoring how sweet and intimate the whole thing was. He would worry about that in the morning.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

David woke up much earlier than Robert, which was weird considering he’d drank a hell of a lot more. Surprisingly he felt amazing, no hangover, just a bit of a dizzying euphoria. Looking at Robert peacefully asleep in his bed probably helped. 

So far that morning he’d already spent at least 15 minutes staring at Robert like a bit of a creep, taken a shower, responded to Justin’s 10 embarrassing text messages from the night before, made himself coffee and some eggs. He made some for Robert too, setting them on his bedside table. Kneeling on the bed, he leaned over to shake Robert awake.

“Hey. Hey Rob, it’s time to get up, bud,” he said, shaking a little harder when Robert didn’t stir. “It’s almost 8:30, I gotta leave.”

“Hmm?” Robert rumbled, finally turning his head on the pillow and cracking an eye open to look at David. “It’s too early, where are you going? Come back to bed.”

“Tempting, but I’ve gotta go to the gym. I’m already going to be late,” David said, staring to tug at the sheet over Robert’s lower half. “You should come with me.”

“No offense, I love you and everything, but I would rather die than go to the fuckin’ gym right now,” Robert said, reaching up to drag his right hand down is face, while simultaneously grabbing the sheet so it couldn’t be pulled off with the other hand. “You’re insane.”

“No I’m not,” David said with a chuckle. “I think it’s called ‘dedicated.’”

“Ugh,” Robert grumbled, “Sure, whatever you want to call it. I’m still not going.”

“Pleeease, I made you breakfast,” David said, picking up the plate with an omelet on it.

“If you think you can bribe me with food…” Robert said, then glanced at the really nice omelet. “You’re absolutely right, _fuck._ ”

“Awesome, I’ll loan you some workout clothes,” David said, smiling from ear to ear. “Eat fast though, we gotta get out of here if we’re going. I still have to pick up my car from the club.”

“I’m going to die,” Robert said, shoveling bites of eggs in his mouth.

 

\---

 

By the time they made it to the gym, Tom and Justin were already there.

“You didn’t tell me there were going to be other people here,” Robert whined, shoving David’s arm a little.

“I didn’t think it would be an issue!,” David said, shoving him back playfully.

Tom waved casually at them from the weight machine, and Justin sprang up from the yoga mat he had spread out on the floor the second he saw them. David hoped against reason that Justin would be just fucking cool for once. He remembered the text messages he’d read that morning and knew that was just not possible.

**_\- Cassieeeeeeee I can’t believe you guys left without saying goodbyeee_ **

**_\- Did you make it back safely? Do I need to be worried?_ **

**_\- Y’all are fuckin aren’t you_ **

**_\- Hahaha I knew it_ **

**_\- Robert and David sittin in a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G_ **

**_\- I swear you better tell me everything Cassie_ **

**_\- I practically handcrafted this match made in heaven for you_ **

**_\- I deserve all the juicy details_ **

**_\- You’re gonna be too sore to workout  in the morning, huh? ;)_ **

**_\- I told Emmy y’all were fuckin since you madeout on the dancefloor in front of God & everyone_ **

_\- I’m going to kill you when I get there, just so you’re prepared_

**_\- Bring it on, baby_ **

 

“Good morning! So where did you guys get off to last night?” Justin said as he walked up to them. David narrowed his eyes at him.

“The club was playing shitty music and I was tired, David took me home,” Robert bold face lied, fooling exactly no one.

“Is that why you’re wearing David’s clothes this morning?” Justin said, a critical strike on David’s will to live, and probably Robert’s too.

They both blushed and David swung is gym bag to hit Justin in the thigh. Robert was apparently stunned speechless because he said nothing, just folded his arms and looked at the ground uncomfortably.

“How about you mind your own business, for once in your life?” David said, giving Justin a pointed stare. “Shut up and come spot me, yeah?”

“I’m just going to lie here on this mat for a while, not awake yet,” Robert said, walking over to Justin’s yoga mat and kneeling down on it.

David picked the weight machine that was the furthest away from Robert and Tom, because he already knew Justin wasn’t going to relent until he was filled in. He loved that guy, but sometimes he could really be a pain in the ass. It’s not that he minded telling him things, it’s just that Justin couldn’t keep a damn secret to save his own ass and this was too important to mess up. He added lighter weights than he’d normally lift, because there was no way Justin could spot him safely with his usual load.

“So,” Justin said, leaning on the bar of the weights above David and smiling down at him. David sighed as he laid on the bench.

“Just ask me what you want to know and get it over with,” David said, taking the bar in his hands so Justin had to stop leaning on it.

“Was it good?! Were there sparks? _Was he into it?_ ” Justin said, rapid fire.

“Yes to all, I think?” David said, knitting his brow as he lifted the weights off the bench.

“You think? Was it like, a one night stand fuck? Or a _boyfriend_ fuck?”

“Umm,” David said, trying to think about that question without dropping weights on himself. “I guess I don’t know the difference.”

“ _What?_ ” Justin said, giving him the most skeptical look ever. “How can you possibly not know the difference?”

“I’ve never had a boyfriend…” David admitted, feeling his muscles start to fire up from the effort.

It was true, he’d only ever had girlfriends. He supposed he could easily tell the difference in that department. He knew when sex with a girl was a one night stand or not. But literally everything about his interactions with Robert felt different than anything he’d ever experienced, he couldn’t put a label on it. It’s what made Robert both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.  

“Really? That is extremely hard to believe. You’re very lovable,” Justin said sincerely.

“What can I say, I always fall for the same kind of guys,” David said, sweat starting to bead on his forehead.

“What, ‘straight’ guys?” Justin asked with air quotes, and David nodded. “Aww, sweetheart. Well, did it feel different than any of those other times?”

“Like I said, I don’t know,” David said, feeling a little too vulnerable. “I don’t want to put any pressure on him. I think he’s still sorting himself out, you know?”

“Do you love him?” Justin asked, always the one to get straight to the point.

“Fuck, I don’t know that either! It’s only been 2 days since I even made the first move, dude,” David said, getting a little frustrated. He breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth like he was supposed to, but he was still feeling a little smothered.

“Well, be careful,” Justin said, and David rolled his eyes. “Don’t roll your eyes, you need to be thinking of this kind of stuff before you get your heart smashed by another straight boy. I don’t want to have to hate him on your behalf when you fuck around and get hurt.”

“Can’t I just see where it goes naturally?” David said, lifting the bar high enough to set it back on the rack with a bit of an impatient bang.

He sat up and glanced at Robert, who was doing a yoga move that probably wasn’t supposed to be sexy, but it was considering that everything Robert did was hot. He smiled, feeling his heart flutter just from looking at Robert bent in half with his legs all the way over his head, toes touching the floor behind him. David knew he was already hopelessly in love with him, but he was not about to tell Justin that. He wasn’t going to tell _anyone_ that, because he knew it was not rational or smart to have such strong feelings yet.

“So you never told me if he was hung,” Justin said, back to his Cheshire cat grin.

“Oh my God, I’m going to drown you in the pool down the hall,” David said, meaning every word of it.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Robert was finally starting to feel like a person again. He’d been stretching, meditating, doing his yoga so his third eye was open, chakras aligned and all that. It was easy to lose awareness of your surroundings, so he surveyed the room. 

Justin was just sitting on a weight machine with phone in hand, texting or tweeting or whatever it was he did all the time. Tom and David were sparring by the wall-length mirror, shirts off and sweaty. It was a sight that Robert had not taken the time to appreciate fully until this moment. He never thought he would sit and appreciate David’s body; the way his back muscles flex when he moves, the sweat on his brow, the strength behind his swing. Nice.

“Hey, I need that,” Justin said, snapping him out of his thoughts. Robert looked up at him like he was an alien.

“What?”

“The mat, I need it. I’m leaving,” he said, kicking it lightly with his shoe.

“Oh, shit, sorry,” Robert said, snapping into action. He stood up and rolled the mat for Justin. “Where are you headed?”

“I have a shoot at eleven. The photographer said something about latex? So I’m kinda interested,” Justin said, tucking the mat under his arm. Robert laughed.

“You know what, I’m interested too. Let me know how that goes,” he said, clapping Justin on the shoulder.

“Sure thing. See you and David on Monday. Don’t be late again,” Justin said, winking and walking away.

Robert started to open his mouth but closed it again, just narrowing his eyes at Justin as he left the weight room. He supposed there was no way to argue, that actually happened. So many things had happened, _so many_. Robert had done a pretty good job so far this morning with not overthinking last night, but he knew it was coming.

 

\---

 

“So what are you doing tonight?” David asked, wiping his face with a towel. He’d just finished running for what seemed like forever on the treadmill while Robert pretended to use weight machines. He was definitely ready to leave like 45 minutes ago, but he didn’t want to whine about it. 

“Honestly, I think I’m going to stay in,” Robert said, stretching as he got up off the bench. “I feel like I haven’t had a wholesome sleep in ages. Plus, I’m supposed to be on a morning radio show at like 8 A.M., I think. Totally lame Saturday night, but you know.”

“Hey, I get it. I could probably use some time to decompress, too,” David said, but Robert thought he’d detected a hint of disappointment. “I’ll run you home when we leave.”

He followed David to the locker room, where they both headed straight for the shower. Robert only had his clothes from the night before to change into, but there was no way he was leaving this building being so sweaty and gross. As he stripped and hung his clothes and towel on the hook outside the shower cubicle, he noticed David sneaking a peak. He could tell that David was still shy about initiating anything, but Robert had been low key turned on pretty much since they got here, so he was into it.

Maybe one more for the road wouldn’t hurt? He glanced quickly around to make sure there wasn’t anyone else in the showers and then gave David a blatant upnod.

“Well are you coming, or what?” he said, pulling back the curtain and turning on the water. He smiled to himself as he heard David’s soft, surprised inhale behind him, and then he stepped in the hot stream. David followed, dragging the curtain closed after himself.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

David had spent his afternoon meeting up with Justin after his shoot for lunch, then did a little grocery shopping, and then back to his apartment. To be perfectly honest, he was wallowing now. He just wanted to be with Robert, but he tried to busy himself with shooting some virtual zombies. He was not going to be the desperate one and text him about it, even if all he could do was sit and wonder what Robert was doing. He tried to give himself a little pep talk.

_Don’t be that guy. If he wants you he will text first. He already has come so far in just a few days, give him time to adjust. One night apart does not mean he doesn’t want to see you._

But he couldn’t escape the sinking feeling that Justin might be right. This might just be sex for Robert, this might just be him wasting time with a willing participant while he was between relationships. What if he never saw David as anything but a friend he could fuck sometimes? Would David be able to respect himself enough to end it if that’s all it turned into? A small, dark corner of his heart thought - _It’s better than nothing, isn’t it?_

“Fuck!,” he swore at the TV, dying on the same spot in the level for the millionth time because his heart wasn’t really in it. He threw the controller on the coffee table and noticed he had a text message. He couldn’t remember muting his phone, but he snatched it up and cursed himself for being hopeful. Except it was _exactly_ what he was hoping to read.

 

**_\- Hey, turns out being alone is boring. Come over? - 9:05pm_ **

 

David almost yelled out of excitement, but he took a few deep breaths and tried to play it cool.

 

_\- Hmm why would I wanna do that? I’m pretty comfy. - 9:20pm_

 

He backspaced a “ **_;)_ **” face, too strong, and also a little too fuckboy. But he still selfishly wanted Robert to beg a little.

 

**_\- Because I made too much pasta and I know you’re hungry - 9:22pm_ **

_\- Nah, I just had leftovers. Gonna take a bigger incentive to get me off this couch - 9:21pm_

**_\- Fucks sake David, get your arse over here. Bring some smoke, if you want to - 9:28pm_ **

 

David smiled so hard his cheeks hurt. He had whiplash from his mood fluctuating so rapidly, but he was already halfway down the hall to put clothes back on. Maybe tonight he would ask Robert what his intentions were… or maybe he didn’t want to know.

 

\---

 

“Hey Steve, how are ya?” David said, greeting the guy that lived below Robert in the duplex they shared. He was sitting under a porch light in a lawn chair by the front door, smoking a cigarette and holding a green bottle of beer between his knees. Like he had been pretty much every time David had ever visited Robert at his place.

“I’m good, man,” Steve said, giving David a low five as he passed.

As soon as David made it up the stairs to Robert’s door the butterflies started to kick in. Fucking _butterflies_ , ugh. He rolled his eyes at himself and knocked on the door. It only took Robert a few moments to open it. He was shirtless, in nothing but navy pajama pants, looking fresh out of the shower. Rude.

“That was fast,” Robert said, his lips curling into a smirk as he stepped aside for David to come in.

“It’s not like you live 50 miles away,” David sassed, but he may have blushed lightly. Sure he’d flew out the door like a bat out of Hell, but it’s not because he was ridiculously excited or anything.

Once he stopped lying to himself, he realized Robert’s apartment smelled amazing. There was a candle lit on the little 2 person dining table against the wall, something fresh and spicy like bergamot and black pepper. He smiled at the thought of Robert lighting a candle just in case it was smelly in here, but Robert’s kitchen was immaculate so it was unnecessary.

“Did you come home and clean all day?” he asked, following Robert into his equally tidy living room.

“Yes. Sometimes cleaning helps clear my head,” Robert said, flopping down right in the middle of the uncomfy-but-stylish couch that David secretly hated. “I didn’t get to my bedroom though so we’re gonna steer clear of that room. Sit?”

David obeyed, sitting tensely on Robert’s left side and setting his gym bag between his feet. He was trying not to be awkward, but all he could think of doing was kissing Robert already to distract himself from his more pressing thoughts. He assumed Robert probably wanted to chill for a while before anything like that happened, to at least pretend that this was anything but a booty call. David’s heart sank slightly at that thought. God, maybe coming over was a mistake, maybe he was in too deep. Robert chuckled at him and hooked his arm around David’s elbow to pull him closer.

“Relax, you’re acting like I’m a prom date you’re afraid to touch,” he said, unhooking his arm to wrap it around David’s shoulders. David laughed and tried to relax his muscles under Robert’s arm, but it was too bright and quiet in here. All he could focus on was the weight of his insecurity and the questions he couldn’t bring himself to ask.

“Just a lot on my mind,” David said, and Robert nodded as if to say ‘same.’ “Plus, you know, every time we’ve hung out lately it’s been um, intense. So I’m not sure how to act.”

Robert seemed a little surprised by his honesty, and quite frankly David couldn’t believe he’d said that either. Maybe it was a step in the right direction?

“I have no expectations. I was legitimately just bored and wanted to see you,” Robert said, but he ran his thumb lightly over David’s neck with the hand over his shoulder, sending maybe a different message.

“Oh hey,” David said, remembering he’d brought the perfect anxiety relief. He shrugged off Robert’s arm and bent to rifle around in his bag. He pulled out a silver case, cracked it open to reveal a row of 3 fat joints. “Did you still want this?”

“Sure, it’s been a while. I’ll get an ashtray,” he said, getting up and heading into the kitchen. He poked his head back in for a moment, “You want anything to drink?”

“An enormous glass of water would be good,” David said, picking out one of the joints and fishing a lighter out of his jeans pocket.

Robert only took a few moments, coming back with a crystal ashtray under his arm and a glass of water in each hand. He set all three things on the glass coffee table in front of David and picked up a small remote. David heard the crackle of feedback as Robert turned on his stereo system. He fiddled with his phone next, turning on some pretty chill music that David didn’t recognize.

“Feel free to put on anything you want,” Robert said, setting his phone on the table and sitting back down next to David.

“Nah, this is fine,” David said, lighting the joint and taking in a whole chestful of smoke. He exhaled like a dragon, filling the air above them with huge clouds. Robert smiled at him as he watched.

“Okay, show off,” Robert said, taking the joint from David and taking a smaller hit and passing it back.

“You should turn on some different lights,” David said, taking a hit and blinking with exaggeration. “I feel like I’m sitting in Heaven. So bright and white in here.”

“You’re so right, good thing these are on a dimmer,” Robert said, already moving off the couch to make it happen.

 

\---

 

Two joints down had them cuddled up on the couch, watching videos on Youtube and laughing like idiots. Robert was laid up against the arm of the couch, David sitting between his knees with his back to Robert’s chest, head on back on his shoulder, phone in hand. For a little while David was able to forget about his stress, just hanging out and laughing, doing dumb shit like they used to before things got complicated. Except this time they were closer, David could feel Robert’s heat and heartbeat against his back and it kept him grounded when his mind tried floating away with the smoke.

“If you make me watch another Vine compilation I’m going to dump you on the floor,” Robert said, giggling and poking David in the side.

“You started it by quoting one in the first place,” David said, turning his screen off and tilting his head back to look up at him. “Hey so did you mention something about pasta?”

Robert giggled again, rumbling David’s back.

“Yeah, it’s in the fridge. You can help yourself though, I am completely couch locked,” Robert said, rubbing his red eyes with his thumb and forefinger.

“Fuck, me too,” David said, thinking about how far the kitchen was. An absolute journey.

“I kind of want to kiss you, though,” Robert said, scratching his skinny fingers through the stubble on David’s chin. It took his brain a few seconds to process, as all he could focus on was the overwhelming sensation of Robert’s fingertips on his face. He let his phone fall from his hand down to the floor, thankfully carpeted.

“That is such a good idea,” David said slowly, awe in his voice. He definitely had enough ambition to roll over, stretched over Robert’s body head to toe.

He peppered a few soft kisses on Robert’s neck and chest and Robert nuzzled his face in David’s hair. It was so sweet David was melting, especially when Robert tipped his head up with hands on both sides of his face, kissing his lips just as softly. It was somehow better than anything they’d done up to this point, no urgency or expectations, just the simplest brush of warm lips and flutter of breath on his face. He could kiss Robert this way forever, wishing he could freeze time to make this intimacy last. Tomorrow Robert would be different, still red hot with him physically, but emotionally aloof and forever out of David’s reach.

“You should take this off, want to feel you,” Robert whispered against his cheek, tugging at the shoulder of his t-shirt. David hummed in agreement, bracing his hands against the arm of the couch behind Robert’s shoulders.

He pushed up to his knees between Robert’s legs, pulling the shirt over his head. He felt Robert shift down slightly so his head was on the arm of the couch instead. He decided he also wasn’t going to want his belt digging into either of them, so he yanked it out of the loops with a snap, flinging it in a pile with his shirt.

“That was kinda sexy,” Robert said, a lazy smirk on his face.

“Yeah?” David said, chuckling until Robert took hold of his belt loop with a finger, pulling him back down.

God, this was even better - skin to skin, Robert’s hands in his hair and fingertips lightly tracing along his back, the sweet kisses. He seemed to be in no hurry to make it anything else either, slipping his satiny tongue against David’s at a languid pace. Maybe he was getting turned on too, but he ignored it, letting himself be absorbed in the bliss of feathery soft affection instead.

“I love your weight on me right now,” Robert said after a while, “Feels like you’re holding me down against zero gravity.”

David giggled, “I think you’re just high.”

“Mmm, maybe,” Robert said, fluttering his eyes closed. David nuzzled against his neck and kissed his throat. “Think I’m falling asleep though, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, me too,” David said, letting his stoned-heavy eyelids fall closed, face pressed against Robert’s collar bone. He could definitely push himself to stay awake and do this all night, but he also knew Robert had an obligation in the morning. They fell asleep easily, Robert’s soft snores ruffling the top of David’s hair, and for the first time he let himself have a little bit of genuine hope that this was about something more than convenient sex.

 

\---

 

When David woke up, face down on the most uncomfortable couch ever, he was alone. Robert must have left for his radio interview, and David tried not to let himself be sad about it. He sat up and stretched, and noticed his phone blinking on the coffee table. He picked it up and read a text from Robert.

 

**_\- Sorry, I had to leave but I didn’t want to wake you. Just lock up when you leave, please_ **

 

David smiled to himself, remembering how close Robert had let him get the night before. Maybe it was foolish to be hopeful, but nothing that sweet could be superficial, right?

He found an empty envelope and ripped off the top for a scrap of paper, jotting down a quick note before he left.

 

_Sorry I missed you, I hope I get to wake up next to you next time. See you tomorrow - D_

 


	2. Part Two

Monday morning came way too soon, and Robert was not in the mood to work. But as usual, once he left his dressing room he dropped his turbulent attitude at the door. The day ended up being fine, he actually went back to his trailer in decent spirits - until he walked in. Sitting on the counter was another note.

 

_Hey, I hope I get to see you tonight. I’ll make dinner if you want to come over ♥ D_

 

Signed with a heart. A _heart._

At the beginning of last week Robert would have adored getting this random note, and gladly gone over to his buddy’s house for a home cooked meal. But it was different now, and not even in a good way. Robert had tried to convince himself that David wasn’t getting sex and love confused, that they could be friends that just hooked up sometimes, but it was clearer than ever now that it was something else. David was leaving him _love notes._

Robert felt guilty on levels he didn’t even know were possible, because he is the one that let it get this heavy. He went to David’s trailer first, then he went to his apartment knowing full well what was going to happen, and he couldn’t even blame alcohol for his decision to sleep with David after the club. And then whatever the fuck Saturday night was, a situation he couldn’t even let himself begin to interpret - his fault, too.

He sighed and sat down on the small couch, rubbing his face with both hands and exhaling heavily. There was no way he could keep doing this to David, but Robert might just be too much of a coward to tell him straightforward. He could not bear to break his heart like that, to see him feel hurt or humiliated or maybe even angry.  So he did another shitty thing instead.

 

_\- Sorry man, I’m not going to be able to make it tonight. Thank you though! We’ll hang out again soon_

 

He reread the text over and over before hitting send. It felt like swallowing a pit into his stomach. It was a lie, he had no plans other than heading home, but he knew if he went over there that David would have _expectations_ . There was no way to let him down gently, other than maybe… avoiding him, but even that option sucked pretty bad. Especially because Robert definitely did NOT want to avoid him, he absolutely loved spending time with David, more than anyone else here. But he fucked that up, he fucked _everything_ up. The fear of possibly losing his friend over this made him want to cry a little - he never wanted this to happen.

 

**_\- Alright no problem just let me know when you’re free. Miss you_ **

 

_Fuck._

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

It was Wednesday night, and David was sitting at home after work feeling uneasy. He hugged a couch pillow to his chest and checked his phone for the millionth time. Nothing. Robert hadn’t said more than a few words to him since Saturday and it was kind of freaking David out, because… he must have done something wrong. Maybe it was the cuddling, maybe it was the notes, maybe it was all of it, but something was definitely different. He felt stupid for putting himself out there, wearing his heart on his sleeve even for one second. It must have made Robert uncomfortable, which seemed to confirm David’s biggest fear - Robert never intended for any strings to be attached here.

He was just about to head to bed and wallow until he fell asleep when he got a text. The speed at which he checked it was embarrassing, and then it ended up letting him down to boot. It _was_ from Robert, but it was a group text with like 20 other people.

 

**_\- Hi, think I’m gonna throw a little party on Friday night if any of you want to come. Bring your own drinks because some of you lushes will drink me into poverty. 8pm._ **

 

David chewed his nail as he read it a few times, deciding if he wanted to even respond. As he stared at the screen Emmy and Justin responded in the chat, saying they would for sure be there. He narrowed his eyes and started typing back, feeling a touch spiteful.

 

 _\- Sorry, don’t think I can make. Have fun losers_.

 

He turned the screen and ringer off and stuffed his phone in his pajamas pocket, then picked up his dinner dishes off the coffee table to take to the kitchen. As soon as he set them in the sink he heard a knock on his door. It was almost 11pm, who the fuck?

David walked across the apartment and looked through the peephole. _Justin._

“Dude, what are you-” David started when he opened the door, but Justin pushed past him into the apartment, already speaking.

“What do you mean you can’t make it to Rob’s party?” he said, standing in the middle of the room in his pajamas, folding his arms. “What happened?”

“Um, nothing. Nothing at all. We haven’t even spoke more than a few words in person since Saturday night,” David said, holding his hands up. “If you know what happened, let me know.”

“Oh no, is he getting cold feet?” Justin said, giving David an annoyingly sympathetic look.

“I don’t know! Probably, but it doesn’t matter,” David said, shaking his head and opening the door. “I’m going to bed if you don’t mind, and I don’t really feel like discussing this right now.”

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?” Justin said, walking closer to him. “Oh no, you’re shutting down, aren’t you?”

“No! I’m just fucking tired, man!” he snapped, sincerely not in the mood. He folded his arms defiantly. “I’m tired of... of caring about people that don’t give a shit about me, that’s why it doesn’t matter, okay?”

“He cares about you David, don’t be stupid,” Justin said, patting him on his forearm as he started to head back out of the door. “He’s just scared, give him time.”

“You’re the one that told me to prepare for this! Now you’re trying to give me hope?” David said, frowning at Justin standing in the hallway.

“I said that before you told me he cuddled you like a boyfriend for like 4 hours last time you guys were together,” Justin said with a shrug. “He cares about you, he’s just having some cognitive dissonance about having those feelings in the first place.”

“Sure, whatever, I’m not going to hold my breath,” David said, rolling his eyes. “Just don’t get involved, please. Promise me you’re not going to pester him about it?”

“But-”

“Justin. Promise me.”

“Ugh, alright, alright,” Justin said, rubbing his own tired eyes.

“Goodnight, biggest pain in my ass ever,” David said, managing to smirk a little as Justin started heading down the hall. Justin gave him the middle finger without looking back, with love of course.

“Go to the party, Cassie,” Justin called out, just before David snapped his door shut and locked it for the night.

 

\---

 

By the time Friday night arrived, David was more than convinced that Robert was avoiding and blowing him off. He had been mysteriously busy every single night that week, he had not spoken to David more than absolutely necessary on set, and he hadn’t even asked why David couldn’t make it to the party. Then, he was even pretty sure he saw Robert straight up _leave a room_ when he walked in earlier that day. It hurt a little more with each day that passed. Apparently they weren’t even going to be friends anymore?

“I’m not going,” he told himself, even though he was getting out of the shower at 7:30pm when he normally waited until the morning. “I’m _not_ going.”

Except now he was picking out clothes in his towel, shaking his head and repeating himself.

“So stupid,” he said, folding his arms and sitting on the bed, staring at the clothes he’d laid out at the end of it. But his mind was flooded with ‘what-ifs’ and questions.

What if Robert was genuinely just busy and David was overreacting? What if he was just scared like Justin had said? What if all it would take is David manning up and _asking_ him? Would it hurt to just ask? Would he leave feeling worse than he did right now, or maybe even better?

“I’m going to regret this,” he said with a sigh, reaching for his jeans.

 

\---

 

It was past 9:30pm by the time he pulled up to the duplex. There were a dozen or so other cars parked in the driveway and up and down the road. He parked behind a car he didn’t recognize and stared at the house, trying to make a final decision about whether he was actually going in there or not. He could see colored lights flashing from the top floor and hear the faint dull thud of bass. Once he decided that he needed answers more than he needed to save his pride, he got out of the car.

For once Steve wasn’t sitting outside in his lawn chair, which David assumed meant he was at the party. It would be the easiest way to make sure nobody disturbed the neighbors - just invite them to the party. The front door was wide open, so David walked inside even though his nerves were spiking through the roof. The first thing he noticed was the smell of the same candle burning on the little dining table and it made David’s heart hurt, remembering the last time he was here.

“Buddy!!!” Justin yelled as soon as he walked in. David looked around and saw him sitting on the kitchen counter with a beer in hand. Steve was leaning against the counter in a straw hat like the weirdo he was, trying to explain something to Justin but Justin was not listening. He jumped off the counter and headed over to David.

“Don’t say anything, I know I’m predictable,” David said, stopping Justin before he could say whatever ‘I-told-you-so’ sort of thing he was about to say.

“Aww, still cranky?” Justin said, smiling and handing him his full beer. David took it and had a long swig, glaring at Justin with one eye the whole time.

“I’m not cranky. I’m here, aren’t I?” David said, handing the beer back. He was not here to get drunk. Justin giggled.

“Just try to have a good time,” Justin said, wandering away. _Not likely,_ he thought bitterly.

He followed Justin through the kitchen and into the living room, where everyone seemed to be congregating. It was loud and the flashing lights were annoying, and David just wanted to leave - until he saw Robert. Ellen, Tom and Robert were sitting on the couch, except Robert had a girl that David didn’t recognize sitting on his lap, laughing loudly at some dumb thing Robert had just said. _Holy shit_ , this was a colossal mistake.

Robert finally noticed David standing in the archway between the kitchen and living room. He gasped and literally dumped the girl into Tom’s lap so he could stand up. Tom held his hands up while she scrambled off his lap, lest someone get the wrong idea.

“Oh, shit,” he heard Justin say a few feet from him, just realizing what was happening. David wasn’t really paying attention though, he was too busy folding his arms as Robert walked up to him.

“Hey, I didn’t think you could make it,” Robert said loudly over the music, and David could smell the vodka on his breath. He was clearly drinking heavily.

“Things wrapped up sooner than I thought they would,” David lied, a chill in his voice. Robert worried his lip, like he knew he was guilty of something. “I came to talk.”

“Sure, come on,” Robert said, waving for him to follow.

David followed him to his room, surprised that he would take him in here with practically all his party guests watching. His anxiety spiked again as he heard the door shut behind Robert, but he tried to keep his shit together. It was a little easier when he was also kind of pissed off.

When he turned around Robert wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him in to kiss him. Like he was just going to pick up where they left off, like he could ignore David all week and then try to distract him with the same bullshit that got them here in the first place. He let it happen for a few seconds, because he thought - _this is probably the last time I’ll ever kiss him._ It hurt so bad, but he got his arms up between them and shoved Robert’s chest away.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” David spat, wiping his mouth and scowling. Robert looked stunned, and then he frowned too.

“What the fuck is wrong with _you_?” he said, also folding his arms. David laughed humorlessly.

“I don’t know, maybe ignoring me all week isn’t the best way to get me to want to kiss you,” David said. He knew this was heading down a dangerous road, they had never been angry at each other before.

“I wasn’t-” he started, but David interrupted him.

“Don’t you dare deny it. I’m not a fucking idiot, Rob,” he snapped.

“Okay, fine,” Robert said, but he didn’t sound the least bit sorry. “Yes, I was ignoring you. But you’re the one that made it weird, not me.”

“Excuse me, _what?_ ” David said, getting heated and defensive.

“I could tell you were… you were starting to sound like you wanted more than what I can give you, okay? And I’m sorry I didn’t just clarify with you instead of avoiding you, but I didn’t want to hurt you,” Robert explained, every word cutting David to the bone.

“Too fucking late,” David snapped, shaking his head and willing himself not to fucking cry right now. He was not going to let Robert see him so vulnerable ever again. “You don’t think you could have told me before you fucked me? Before you…”

David bit his lip and shook his head. If he said anything else he would for sure start to tear up like a fool.

“Okay look, I am not the only one to blame here, David,” Robert said, leaning back against the door with his arms still folded. “ _You_ made this about sex first, I was just going along with it because I thought it would be fun.”

“ **_I_ ** made this about sex first?” David said, honestly stunned by that sentence. But before Robert even spoke, he realized he was absolutely fucking right, and it pissed David off even more.

“You offered to blow me without any prompting on my end,” Robert said, pointing at David’s chest. “Did you ask me on a date? No, you just dragged me in your trailer like a slutty groupie. And every time after that it was the same thing, _you_ coming on to _me_. Nobody ever said anything about this being anything else, until you started leaving me lovey notes and texts like a girlfriend. Of course it freaked me out, David. You weren’t… you weren’t supposed to fall in love with me.”

David bit the inside of his lip even harder, looking at the ceiling like it might stop the stupid tears from welling up in his eyes. At this point he was even more angry at himself than Robert, especially because he had a valid point. At no moment in the time they’d spent together had David actually made his intentions clear, and that was on him.

“I won’t be making that mistake again,” he said, managing to keep his voice level even though he was shaking inside. “Please move.”

Robert didn’t move immediately, looking at David with the saddest eyes he’d ever seen.

“I’m really sorry, David. I didn’t mean to hurt you, honestly. I don’t want to lose you,” he said, trying to reach out to touch David’s shoulder but he ducked out of the way. Robert flinched and hung his head sullenly, stepping aside so he could leave.

“Enjoy your party,” David said, opening the door and walking out.

 

\---

 

David slammed his car door and let the floodgates open, the full force of his heartbreak washing over him.

It was exactly as he’d feared, and somehow even worse because he hadn’t even realized what part he’d had to play in the way things turned out. It would have been so much easier to just blame Robert, to believe that he’d been strung along heartlessly. Instead, he understood where Robert was coming from, and it made him feel worse than ever. Just because David could love men and women the same, doesn’t mean Robert could be in love with another guy just as easily. So many times David could have asked where he was at emotionally, he’d even thought about asking in the moment, but the truth is that he didn’t want to know. He wanted to believe the lie, he wanted… he wanted it to work out, so _badly_.

He’d sat there lost in his feelings for a moment too long, and the passenger door opened. He already knew who it was going to be, he didn’t even need to look.

“Not right now, man,” he said as Justin dropped into his passenger seat.

“Fuck Cassie, I am so sorry,” Justin said, looking like a kicked puppy. David turned his head slowly and gave him a dead stare, tear streaks on his cheeks.

“Justin. I love you, man, but if you don’t get out of this car right now I’m going to slug you repeatedly until you do,” he said, evoking his Diego level of intimidation. He meant every word.

“Okay, but please don’t do anything stupid,” Justin said tentatively, opening the door again.

“I couldn’t possibly top this level of stupidity, anyway,” David said, wiping his ugly cry-face on the back of both hands.

“ _Stop_ , you did nothing wrong, David,” Justin said, standing on the curb with his hand on the car door. “I don’t know what he said to you, but-”

“Shut the door, please,” David cut him off, trying not to scream at his friend. He was just trying to help, but David was not in a place where he could accept it.

“Okay. Call me when you can,” Justin said, realizing his words were falling on deaf ears at the moment. He shut the door and David took off immediately.

He had nowhere to go, other than home which sounded like the worst. Nevertheless, he was in no mood to be around people, so he went there anyway. Of course he was just going to cry and feel sorry for himself, but what else could he do? Go to a bar and get shitfaced and make more bad decisions? Maybe another night.

As he stepped into his apartment he could still feel the ghost of Robert’s last kiss on his lips, and he knew without a doubt that he was _never_ going to forget it.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

As soon as David left Robert felt gutted, wracked with guilt in a way he’d never experienced. He had screwed up a lot of things in his life, some of them even more important than this, but this one hurt like a motherfucker. He tried to tell himself he should be somewhat _relieved_ \- it was done, the hardest part should be over, right? Except no, not at all, because now he was going to have to live with the memory of David’s heart shattering right in front of his eyes, and _he_ did that.

And then he’d had the audacity to shift all the blame on David, when he knew damn well that he could have put a stop to this himself before anything got out of control. He could have just laughed off David’s first offer like he did with all their other silly flirting. He could have said ‘no’ so many times, he could have spared all of this if he wasn’t such a selfish hedonist. He had never felt so physically attracted to a guy, so he had to know how it played out, even though he was well aware of the dangerous game he was playing. Except he wasn’t the one that got hurt in the fallout.

But if that were entirely true, why did he feel such a tremendous _loss_ ? Underneath the mountain of guilt and anxiety, hovering just on the faded edges of his conscious and subconscious, was a shadowy shred of acknowledgement that he cared more deeply for David than he could admit to himself. Strictly sexual attraction he could explore easily, but matters of the heart had been a struggle for him pretty much since puberty. As open and affectionate as he could be with his previous lovers, friends and even strangers, it became a lot more of a struggle to let himself be truly _known_ beyond the first few layers of identity _._ Surely that wasn’t coming into play here, right?

The song out in the living room switched to something upbeat and it brought him back to Earth. Right, he was throwing a fucking party right now. Just as well, if he’d ventured much further down his current path of thought he didn’t want to know what he would find there. He decided the only reason he’d been having such a deep level of introspection was because he was losing his buzz. Surely another drink would help ease his troubled thoughts.

With that little bit of reassurance, he opened the door and returned to his party. Except the whole mood of the event was shot. Practically everyone fell into an exaggerated hush when he walked out. He could tell they were all dying to ask why David had stormed out, but he was absolutely not about to tell these fucking people anything. He didn’t even want to discuss it with _himself_ anymore, let alone other people. He knew they were all going to hate him once they knew, anyway. _As they probably should_ , he thought bitterly.

Instead of dealing with any of that nonsense, he grabbed his abandoned vodka bottle off the coffee table and walked back to his room. He shut the door and locked it, because he knew at least one of his friends were going to come harass him for details. Thankfully he had his pack of cigarettes in his pocket, so he stepped out on his bedroom balcony. He just hoped the vodka worked faster than his brain, because as much as he didn’t want to talk to the others, he definitely didn’t want to talk to himself anymore either.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

  


What a mess. Justin couldn’t help but feel partly responsible for how things had played out the night before. He was the one that pressured David to come to the stupid party. But how was he supposed to know that it would go so badly? Now both of his friends were pissed off and heartbroken, and neither of them would answer their phones. Justin had even stood at David’s apartment that morning, pounding on the door and begging him to open up. David never answered though, and even though Justin had a key, he would never just barge in.

He had promised David he wouldn’t get involved, but he was definitely getting involved. He would like to say it was just because he wanted to help, but at this point it was purely out of curiosity and a little bit of stubbornness. He had to know what Robert said that made David more upset than Justin had ever seen him before, plus he also refused to believe that this couldn’t be saved. He had to get to the bottom of the situation, privacy be damned.

“Open up Robbie, I know you’re in there,” Justin said, knocking loudly on his door for the 4th time. “I can stand here all day, I’ve got the time! Robert!”

The door opened and Robert looked like hell, still wearing the same outfit from the party last night. There were dark circles around his eyes, clearly he didn’t sleep, and he appeared to still be drinking. An absolute train wreck.

“Do you ever take a hint, Min? Fucking hell,” Robert said, swinging the door open and walking away, as if he didn’t care whether or not Justin followed him in.

“I am immune to hints,” Justin said, shutting the door behind himself and following Robert into the living room. “Um, have you put anything in your system besides liquor in the last 12 hours?”

“Nope,” Robert said, sitting down on the couch and pouring vodka from a fresh bottle into a highball glass. There were 2 other empty bottles on the coffee table. Where the hell did he even get so many?

“Jesus, man, you need to sober up. Take a shower, eat some food, go the fuck to sleep, something,” Justin said, suddenly much more concerned about Robert’s wellbeing than any of the drama from the night before.

“Are you my mother?” Robert said, his voice jagged and exhausted. He ran his finger around the rim of the glass and stared absently at the table in front of him.

“Right now? Yes I am,” Justin said, deciding he had the balls to take the glass from Robert’s hand. Surprisingly, Robert didn’t protest, so he grabbed the almost full 3rd bottle off the table too.

“Don’t pour that down the drain, that’s fucking Grey Goose,” Robert said, but he had no fight left. He just flopped back against the couch and scrubbed his face with both hands.

“You can buy more later,” Justin said, taking the bottle and glass in the kitchen to do exactly that.

“Uuughhhh you are such a twat,” Robert whined. Justin came back with his arms folded over his chest.

“I need to know what you said to David last night,” he said, deciding to bite the bullet before Robert passed out.

“How is that any of your b-business?” Robert said with a hiccup, closing his eyes and then snapping them open immediately. “Whoa, got the spins. Can’t do that yet.”

“It’s my business because you broke him, and I need to know what you said before I can figure out how to help him get over it,” Justin said, getting frustrated at what a useless drunk Robert was being right now.

“Why do you assume this is on me, anyway? M-maybe I’m the victim here,” Robert said, hiccuping again.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake. Fine, just tell me what happened from your perspective, then,” Justin said, rolling his eyes with exasperation.

“I just… I told him he got the wrong idea about- about what we were doing,” Robert said, looking like it was a struggle to even remember at the moment. “He was upset, and I… I told him it was his fault. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Justin watched Robert slip from drunken obstinance into sadness, hugging his arms around himself and pouting.

“Why do you think it was his fault?” Justin asked.

“It _wasn’t_ , it fucking wasn’t, okay?” Robert said miserably.

“I need you to start making sense, because I’m still in the dark here,” Justin said, ready to shake him in about 4 seconds. Robert groaned and sat up, making eye contact for the first time since Justin got there.

“Okay, look. David and I were messing around, he decided it meant more than just sex for some reason, and I told him I wasn’t interested in that. What’s so hard to understand?” Robert said, looking at Justin like he was an idiot.

“And why did you make that decision? What’s your hangup? Is it because he’s a guy? Are you afraid of what people would think?” Justin asked, staring critically at Robert as he pelted him with questions.

“N-no!” Robert said, his indignation interrupted by another hiccup. “I don’t care what anyone thinks, ever. I just don’t want to be in a relationship with a man, Justin. It’s not that complicated, I’m just not gay.”

“I don’t know how to tell you this, but if you enjoyed the sex you had with David, you’re at least a _little bit_ gay,” Justin said, his tone softening slightly. “You know bisexuality is a thing, right?”

“Ugh, why am I even discussing this with you?” Robert said, rubbing his eyes and sighing. “Sex and love aren’t the same thing, you know? I can fuck anyone, I don’t care - but that doesn’t mean I want to like, p-plan a future with them and shit.”

“You’re going to sit here and tell me you don’t have any feelings for him? That he was just an emotionless fuck? That’s _all_ you cared about?”  Justin said, trying not to be bitter on David’s behalf, but he couldn’t help it. No wonder he’d left here crying if this is the bullshit Robert said to him.

“I didn’t say that at all,” Robert snapped, the complexity of the conversation seeming to sober him just enough to be offended.

“Well that’s what it sounds like you’re saying to me,” Justin said, frowning too.

“ _Of course_ I care about him, Justin. Probably more than I should, but...” Robert said. “I just mean there is a lot more to being in an actual relationship with someone than getting off. And I don't…”

Robert trailed off and shrugged.

“I don't think you really know what you want,” Justin said sharply. “I'm not sure why you think a relationship with a guy is so wildly different than it is with a girl.”

“Because it is! If it wasn’t people wouldn’t have a p-preference,” Robert said, groaning at his own hiccups again.

“Have you ever dated a guy?” Justin pressed, even though he already knew the answer. He was asking to make a point. Robert sighed, already catching on.

“No, I have not, so how would I know, right?” Robert said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“I mean, it just seems like you could be jumping the gun a little,” Justin said, feeling like he might actually get somewhere afterall. “Have you ever considered giving him a chance? Like, nobody said you had to marry him, but… with how much I know you guys care about each other, it seems worth a shot.”

“I don’t think I can,” Robert said, sadness in his face and voice.

“Why _not_ ?! God, Robbie. You’re young, famous, well-liked, but you’re alone! Are you really going to let this chance pass you by?” Justin said, knowing he was probably out of line but he couldn’t stop himself, he was too heated now. “You’re fickle, you’re more shallow than you think you are, and you’re afraid of genuine connection. But _you are alive_! Stop waiting for something better all the time and look at what you already have. Fuck, man.”

“You’re lucky I can’t stand without throwing up right now because I might hit you,” Robert said, holding his head in both hands, elbows on his knees.

“Just, fucking think about it, will you? Think with your heart, not your head,” Justin said, trying to calm down a little. “If you can’t be with him, fine. But at least be honest with yourself. It has little to do with his gender and a lot to do with you being afraid of something real.”

“I feel like we’re at work right now. I’m drunk, you’re yelling at me and telling me I’m terrible,” Robert said with a weak laugh, laying on his back across the couch. “How like life.”

“You’re not terrible. You’re just stubborn and stupid sometimes,” Justin said honestly. He could tell his conversation was almost over, but he’d gotten further than he’d expected.

“Yep, that’s me,” Robert said absently, letting his eyes flutter closed. He was evidently beyond finished being psychoanalyzed. His flippant attitude was irritating, but Justin hoped it meant he was just deflecting because he knew Justin was right. “Are you done?”

“No. You know, for the record, for some supposedly ‘meaningless’ fling that only lasted like 3 days, you guys are both being pretty damn dramatic about it if it meant nothing,” Justin said. Robert ignored him, but he sighed heavily so Justin knew the message was still recieved. “We’re not done with this conversation. I’m going to go help David pick up the pieces. Take a shower, you smell like vodka sweats.”

“Tell him I said I’m... I’m really sorry,” Robert said, his exhausted voice hardly more than a whisper. He reached his hand out to grab aimlessly at Justin, but he was too drunk and sleep deprived to even be close.

Before Justin left, he set out a glass of water and some Advil on the glass coffee table for Robert to find. When he finally woke up he was definitely going to need it.

 

\---

 

Justin had tried to get a hold of David for the rest of the day on Saturday, to no avail. He’d sent approximately 4,000 texts, called, knocked - he’d even ordered a pizza to David’s house and hid around the corner, waiting for him to answer the door. He never did, and Justin was starting to get legitimately worried.

Sunday morning he decided David was either going to let him in or he was going to use his key. At this point it was a wellness check, not an invasion of privacy. He knocked a few times and when David didn’t answer he sat down on the floor against the door.

“Daaaavid, please let me innnn,” he said, thumping his head back against the door. “If you don’t I’m going to start singing. And then we will both get evicted!”

After a few more minutes of silence he did start singing.

“All by myseeeeelf, don’t wanna live all by myseeeeellfff!” he sang, horribly out of tune and as loud as he possibly could. “Please open the dooooo- _oooff!_ ”

The door opened behind him and he fell back into David’s apartment.

“Would you shut the holy hell up, oh my God,” David said, staring down at him with raised eyebrows. Justin smiled brightly.

“Good morning, beautiful!” he said, and he could tell David was actually fighting back a smirk. At least that was a good sign. “I was about 5 seconds from barging in, you have no idea.”

“You are the most annoying person I’ve ever met, you know that?” David said without any real malice, stepping back while Justin picked himself up off the ground.

“Yes, but I’m cute so you love me anyway,” Justin said, doing a quick scan of the living room.

He had been expecting it to be trashed with depression-food takeout boxes, ice cream containers and beer bottles all over - but it wasn’t, at all. It was just the normal amount of cluttered, and David looked alright, too. A little tired, but overall he didn’t seem to be wearing his heartache on his sleeve.

“Are you satisfied?” David said, folding his arms and watching Justin blatantly size him up for damage.

“Why didn’t you answer your phone? Are you okay?” Justin asked.

“I’m fine, I just didn’t feel like talking to anyone for a while,” David said, walking over and sitting on the couch. Justin eyed him suspiciously.

“Are you sure? You seemed pretty upset the other night,” he said, fighting the urge to give David a hug anyway.

“I mean yeah, I was, but I’m over it,” David said, and the sincerity in his voice was a little shocking.

“You’re _over_ it?”

“Yes? What else am I supposed to do about it? I can’t make someone feel something they don’t,” David said, shrugging then smacking the seat next to him. “Want to play some games?”

“What a mature outlook,” Justin said, taking a seat next to him. He was trying to decide if David was just really good at hiding it, or if he was actually that emotionally mature.

“I guess,” David said distractedly, turning on his Playstation with the controller.

“I’m not sure if it will make you feel better or worse to know that he’s a mess,” Justin said, watching David’s reaction. He just frowned.

“You went over there? Why?” he said, and Justin decided he shouldn’t have said anything.

“Because I’m a good friend. I wanted to check on him too since neither of you dramatic assholes were answering the phone,” Justin said. He could tell David was fighting with himself internally about whether to ask any further questions.

“A mess in what way?” he finally said, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Well, he was still hammered yesterday morning. Hadn’t slept, hadn’t eaten anything. He… he wanted me to tell you he’s really sorry,” Justin said, fidgeting with the bracelet he was wearing.

“He doesn’t need to be,” David said shortly, refocusing on starting up a game.

“David, I think he means it. He knows he was wrong to blame you,” Justin said, taking the controller David was handing him.

“He wasn’t wrong. It doesn’t matter, anyway. It’s done,” David said, and he sounded more aggravated than anything. “Are we going to play or what?”

“Yes, but I think you should talk to him. At least to salvage your friendship, you know?” Justin said, knowing he was pressing the boundaries of David’s patience.

“Look, I respect that you’re invested in this because you care, but I need you to stop talking, okay? Can we just shut up and play this fucking game?” David said, a hint of desperation in his tone. Maybe he was fine enough to not be crying anymore, but Justin could see now that it was still a sore subject under the surface.

“Yeah, alright,” he said, actually complying for once in his life. He figured what David needed more than anything right now was a little bit of normalcy. So Justin prepared to kick his ass at video games, as per usual.

 

___________________________________________________________________________

 

Robert had a rough couple of days, like really rough. He knew it would be awkward at work, but he didn’t expect it to be _painful_ too. David didn’t ignore him, but their forced casual conversation was fucking terrible. Robert wanted to joke with him, wanted to be able to touch him and goof around like they used to, but he knew things had changed too much. David didn’t bring up what happened between them, not once, and Robert was too much of a coward to bring it up either. After almost a full week of filming, David had said maybe 15 sentences to him. It broke Robert’s heart to admit that David seemed _fine,_ like he’d made peace with what happened and written Robert off as a mistake, a lesson learned. And maybe he was right.  

Every night when Robert went home he thought of David, every time he woke up, same thing. He had been so preoccupied with his guilt and regret that he wasn’t putting in his best effort at work. They had all been night filming that week- a super important, high-energy scene that he needed to be on the ball for, but he couldn’t be. The director, cast and crew were all getting annoyed with his mental absence, and he knew he needed to get his shit together soon. It was so hard when all he wanted to do was fix what went wrong, or go back in time and avoid it all, but it wasn’t fucking possible. He had to live with this, what he did to his best friend on set. It also didn’t help that every time he jerked off the only thing he could think about was David moaning softly under him, his sweet kisses and total vulnerability under Robert’s touch. He wanted that again, to be as close to him and feel him unravel as Robert brought him to the edge, but there was no way to make that happen again. He knew he didn’t _deserve_ to have that again.

Maybe tonight would be different, though. Maybe tonight Robert could actually talk to him without anyone around. It was a night scene with just Klaus and Diego, where they would have no choice but to be engaged with each other for several hours. Normally they would have spent time running the scene together a few days in advance, getting their lines down, but because of the strain, neither of them had suggested getting together to do it.

The setting was a large corporate building, late at night, where Klaus and Diego were tasked with breaking in and retrieving an important document. Production had rented out an empty building for filming the scene, and for some damn reason they had decided to film it on the top floor. It was only them and a small skeleton crew, barely 20 or so crew members. Not a typical day of shooting, but it was something different, and got Robert out of his funk a little.

For all intents and purposes, filming went better than expected. Despite that it had just been the two of them with all their awkward, painful history, their chemistry and ease of working together got them through it with a surprising success. It felt fucking great to get back into the swing of things, but Robert knew it was only temporary - only professional.

“Do you need a ride back?” David asked once they had wrapped for the night. They were all leaving from the shooting location rather than the studio, so Robert would have had to catch a cab or an Uber home. David’s offer seemed like the perfect opportunity for them to be alone, to finally talk outside of their job.

“Um, sure, that would be great. I mean, I could just catch a ride with Chris, too, but-”

“Your place is closer to mine than his,” David said, shrugging. “It’s no trouble.”

“Alright, great. Thanks,” Robert said, immediately shaming himself for feeling giddy about the idea of them being alone together again. He couldn’t believe how badly he missed spending time with David alone. Sure, it wasn’t going to be an immediate fix. Hell - it might even be just more awkward conversation, but it was still _something_.

 

\---

 

It had taken them a while to truly be finished and get out of their costumes, and then Robert needed to use the bathroom for like 20 minutes. It had been at least 5 hours of filming and he was only human, so he wasn’t even ashamed. Except when he returned David was the only one left, literally everyone else had packed up and gone home. The majority of the lights were out and David was sitting on a chair by the elevator, typing away to someone on his phone. He looked up when Robert found him and smirked.

“Thought you fell in,” David said as he walked up, and Robert rolled his eyes and smiled sheepishly.

“Excuse me, shit happens,” Robert said, shrugging with exaggeration. David laughed and shook his head, and it literally lit up Robert’s whole stupid life to make him laugh again.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here, being alone in this building gives me the creeps,” David said, standing up and pushing the down arrow on the elevator.

“Agreed,” Robert said, truly feeling the same. It was only a 10 floor building, just some boring office - but when there was minimal lighting and not another soul in sight, yeah, it was pretty unsettling. He felt like he was the poor wanker in every movie, waiting for the elevator to open while a monster was about to barrel down the hallway at them.

The doors finally opened and they shuffled in, David first. As the doors closed Robert racked his brain for something to talk about that wasn’t _the thing_. He knew it was too soon to bring that up, so he kept quiet, picking at some skin on his fingernail as the elevator started to move.

“I’m so starving, we are stopping at a fast food place when we leave here,” David said, and Robert was relieved that David spoke first.

“Definitely. I’ll buy, since you’re taking me-” his sentence was cut off by the elevator coming to an unexpected stop. He looked up at the lights indicating what floor they were on, it was only the 4th floor. His eyes flicked to David, who was already looking at him. They shared a brief look of panic.

“Well, that’s not good,” David said, pushing the button to open the doors. Nothing happened.

“A-are we stuck?” Robert said, feeling his anxiety ratchet up immediately.

“Not necessarily,” David said, pushing the button a few more times. He tried pushing a button for another floor but that didn’t do anything either. Robert was not really one to outright panic, but he was absolutely starting to panic. Apparently he had a huge fear of being stuck in elevators that he wasn’t even aware of.

“Are we fucking stuck, David?” he asked again, his breathing becoming more difficult. “I can’t be stuck in here!”

“Just hang on, don’t freak out yet. There is a call button,” David said, pushing the Help button.

“There is nobody here! Who the fuck is going to see the alert?!” Robert said, his voice and blood pressure climbing higher. He pulled is phone out of his pocket - zero service, of course, because it’s a fucking elevator. His hand was already shaking so bad that he dropped the phone on the ground, and it may or may not have shattered. He was too distracted to check.

“Dude, just relax, okay? It alerts the elevator company itself, not anyone in the building,” David said, turning to rest his hand on Robert’s shoulder.

Robert looked in his eyes and tried to compose himself, but it wasn’t working. He’d officially lost his shit, his breath even more labored now. He covered his eyes with both hands and breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth rapidly, still desperately trying to get control of himself without a shred of luck.  

“I don’t want to die in here,” he whined, not even aware he was speaking. David chuckled softly, rubbing Robert’s bicep.

“Rob look at me, we’re definitely not going to die, I promise,” David said, but it was no use. Robert backed up until his back was against the metal elevator wall and he slid all the way down, until he was hugging his own knees in the corner.

“Why is no one answering? Shouldn’t someone be answering?” Robert said, opening his eyes to look at the panel. There was a speaker on it, they should be able to hear if someone from the company said anything.

“Um, yes, but it’s late, so just give it a few more minutes,” David said, pressing the button again just in case, even though it was already lit up. Robert waited less than a minute before slipping into full freakout mode.

“They just rented this building and turned the power on for a few days, David. N-no one is going to answer. We’re fucking stuck in here, oh my God,” Robert babbled, holding his head in his hands. Then he realized he could only breathe out, not in anymore. His lungs didn’t work, his vision was starting to tunnel and his whole body started to quake.

“Jesus, Robert, just breathe,” David said, seemingly much more concerned about Robert’s obvious panic attack than being stuck in an elevator. He crouched on the floor in front of Robert, taking his hands and forcing eye contact. “You need to look at me. Rob, look at me. I will get us out of here, okay?”

“Nobody will come,” Robert forced out, shaking his head. David leaned closer, taking Robert’s face in his hands.

“Hey, hey, I swear I will get us out, okay? I just need you to breathe so I can work on it. You’re freaking me out,” he said, holding Robert by the jaws. He started taking exaggerated breaths in and out, nodding for Robert to copy him. It took him a few tries, but staring into David’s eyes helped and he was finally able to take a few breaths. “Okay, okay. See, you’re okay. Just keep breathing.”

“Have to get out of here,” Robert said, his voice strained and pathetic. He reached up and held David’s forearms as he continued to follow his breathing.

“We will, just let me look in the panel. Are you going to be okay if I step away?” David said, his voice soft and soothing. Robert nodded, finally feeling like he could catch his breath. David used his thumb to wipe away a tear on Robert’s cheek that he hadn’t even been aware he’d shed.

“Okay, okay, okay, it’s okay,” Robert said, mostly to himself, but he was still nowhere near convinced. David gave him one last concerned look and stood up to focus on the panel.

Robert watched David pull his car keys out of his jeans pocket and jam one under the elevator panel. It had a lock on it, but David wedged his key under it until he could get his fingertips under the metal panel door. He pulled until the metal started bending and he could get a better grip, wrenching it with all his weight and strength.  

“Oh my God, don’t break it,” Robert said, feeling his heart start beating faster again.

“I have to get in here to see if I can fix it,” David said, his voice gruff with the effort of bending the door enough to see inside.

“What do you know about fucking elevator wiring!?” Robert said, his voice squeaky with fear.

“Probably more than you would think. I did go to school for engineering for a hot minute, you know,” David said.

“Okay that’s great, but what if you mess it up more? What if you trip a wire and send us free-falling? What if we lose power and the lights go out? What if-”

“ _Ro_ _bert_ , I need you to shut up so I can think, okay? We’re not going to fall, the cables are pretty much failsafe. You’ve just seen too many movies,” David said, finally getting the panel door bent open enough to see most of the components inside.

To Robert it looked horrifyingly complicated, like the inside of a giant computer. Circuit boards, a million wires, buttons, switches - a bunch of other junk he couldn’t even identify. He decided he had to close his eyes because just looking at David touching shit in there made him want to throw up. He held his head in his hands and focused on his breathing, in and out, in and out. _We are going to get out of here, everything is going to be okay, it will be okay._ _  
_

“Okay so,” David said, after a few agonizing minutes. “I’m sure I can get the doors to open, but I think we’re between floors so we will have to jump down. Can you do that?”

“I think so,” Robert said, despite being absolutely terrified.

“Alright, I’m going to trigger the doors to open, but I need you to hold them that way, okay?” David said, like he was talking to a child. Normally Robert would be irritated by that tone, but at the moment he absolutely needed it.

“I’m definitely going to puke when we get out of here,” Robert said, forcing himself to stand up on wobbly legs and walk toward the doors. He held his shaking hands up, ready to do what he was asked. “Okay, go.”

As soon as the words left his mouth David triggered the doors, and Robert’s stomach dropped through the floor. They were indeed right between the two floors, and Robert realized he’d never seen how thick a floor foundation actually was between levels. It was about half the height of the elevator door opening, with a foot of space on the top and maybe 2 feet at the bottom. He remembered he had a job to do and braced his hands against both sides of the doors.

“Okay good,” David said, letting go of whatever he’d been holding in the panel. Robert felt the doors fighting back against his palms, but he was easily able to keep them open. “You’re going to have to slide under, I’ll hold the doors.”

“Please don’t get stuck in here after I jump out,” Robert said, letting David take the doors from him.

“I won’t, just jump,” David said, shifting his lower body to the side so Robert could duck under his arm.

He couldn’t believe he was actually about to be free, his heart was pounding harder than ever. After crouching down he peered out into the dimly lit emptiness of the 3rd floor. It seemed to be about a 7 foot drop from the open space to the floor, so not too far. He leaned over and grabbed his phone, sat down and hung his legs over the edge. He took a deep breath, then slid his butt off the edge. When his feet hit the ground his weak knees buckled and his whole body hit the floor face down.

“Are you okay?” David yelled, crouching as low as he could to look out at him.

“I’m alright,” Robert said, picking himself up and dusting off. No major damage, maybe just a bruise or two. He was more worried about David now. “Jump, I can catch you!”

“No, I’ll be fine, just move out of the way,” David said and Robert obeyed, stepping to the side.

He watched David do what he did, sitting on the edge with his feet hanging down. As soon as he launched himself off the doors closed behind him, and he managed to land solidly on his feet. Robert didn’t even give him a second to catch his balance before grabbing him into a fierce bear hug.

“You did it! _You_ _saved my life_!” Robert said, pinning David’s arms with his hug and burying his face in David’s shoulder. David laughed in his ear.

“We were never in any real danger. Someone would have found us eventually,” David said, patting Robert’s hip because it was all he could use his arms for.

“No, you saved my life. I would have fucking died of a heart attack before anyone found me if I didn’t have you,” Robert said with certainty. He had never been so overcome with emotion in his life - mostly gratitude, but also _love_. Most certainly it was love, and he was too beside himself to deny it anymore.

“You know, I think I actually believe that,” David said with a smirk while still being hugged like a ragdoll. Robert pulled back a little, holding him by the arms.

“David, I was so wrong,” he said, making David frown in confusion.  “About everything. I- I’m so sorry.”

“What are you talking about?” David said. Robert let the dam break, to Hell with the consequences. He was too emotional to keep it all in anymore.

“I was wrong about not wanting to be with you. I was wrong to lead you on - I knew, I knew right from the beginning that it meant more to you and I let it- I let it happen anyway. I’m so fucking sorry I hurt you,” Robert babbled, shaking his head and blinking back some tears. “I was wrong to think I didn’t feel the same. I do. I’m scared, and I can’t promise you it will last forever, but-”

“Hey, hey, slow down,” David said, lifting a hand up to place a hand on Robert’s chest. “Take a deep breath and start over?”

“I’m saying... I want to be with you, David. You’re fucking brilliant, you’re one of the coolest people I’ve ever met, you have the biggest heart and I love every minute I spend with you. I would be stupid to not give this a chance,” Robert said, his heart pounding out of his chest, but he meant every word. He was suddenly more afraid of David rejecting him than of any second spent trapped in the elevator. It was pretty dark in there, but he could still see that he’d choked David up. “If you… if you still want to.”

“I don’t know,” David whispered, searching Robert’s eyes as best he could.

“ _Please_ ,” Robert said back, and he could hear the tremble in his own voice. It would be embarrassing if he wasn’t so preoccupied with David’s answer. He watched David worry his lip and think, and Robert forgot how to breathe again. David took a deep breath and took one of Robert’s hands.

“Look, I’m not going to pretend that I’m okay, that everything is just going to be hearts and fireworks, but-” he said, giving Robert’s hand a squeeze. “Maybe we can start back at the beginning?”

“What? Like, a real first date? Done,” Robert said, finally taking a breath. “I will date the shit out of you. Where to?”

“Let’s discuss that later, I’m still fucking starving and I need to be out of this building,” David said, bringing Robert back to reality.

Oh right, they were still standing by a broken elevator in an empty building. But at least they were out, and David didn’t flatout reject him. It was fucking wild to think that all it took was a near death experience (at least in Robert’s mind) to get him to admit his feelings, but it was done. Hearing himself say it out loud made him even more sure of it - he wanted to date David for real.

“Okay, but one more thing,” Robert said, scratching the back of his neck. “Can you maybe not tell literally _anyone_ about… about what just happened in there?”

David chuckled. “You mean about you being the biggest damsel in distress of all time?”

“Shut up,” Robert said, shoving him and smiling against his will. “Just tell them I also did something cool.”

“You did, you held the door,” David said, winking and taking Robert’s hand.

 

____________________________________________________________________________  

  


“You’re not wearing that shirt, are you?” Justin said, coming into David’s apartment like he was invited or something.

“Well I was going to,” David said, frowning and looking down at his black button up. Maybe it was a little basic, but still classic, yes?

“You can’t go on your first date in some boring shit he’s already seen you in,” Justin said, walking straight back to David’s room.

“What exactly has he not seen me in? And why does that matter?” David said, following him.

How did Justin even know his date with Robert was tonight, anyway?

“It matters because you’re trying to inspire the feeling of seeing you for the first time,” Justin said, walking to the closet and moving shirts around.

“He’s literally known me for almost 2 years, though,” David said, folding his arms and smiling at Justin acting like his fairy godmother.

“Have you never heard of seeing someone in a new light?” Justin said, picking out the ugliest thing that David owned. Thankfully he put it back, David let out a sigh of relief.

“I guess, if you insist,” David said, leaning against the door jamb.

“Everything you own sucks, dude,” Justin said. “Oh wait.”

“Ugh, I look gross in purple, no way,” David said, scrunching up his nose at the royal purple button up with little black roses on it. “Plus, that shirt looks like I got it on clearance at Hot Topic when I was fifteen.”

“Hmm, yeah okay. Purple is the right color, though, just not this one,” Justin said, moving to his dresser instead.

“You’re killing me, here,” David said, checking his watch. Justin needed to vacate soon, there was no way he could be here when Robert picked him up.

“Just hang on,” Justin said, getting on his knees and rifling through a drawer. “This is like, a nice date, right? You’re not just going to a bar or something lame?”

“We’re going to a place with an outdoor waterfront dining sort of thing, and then we were just going to walk downtown. Maybe walk the pier or something,” David said, realizing that thinking about it out loud was making him nervous. The gravity of having a real date with Robert hadn’t fully caught up with him yet, and he wasn’t in the mood to get all bent out of shape 25 minutes before they were supposed to leave.

“Alright, you’re doing the v-neck with a semi-casual blazer look then. I think charcoal black would look good with this color,” Justin said, somehow digging out a deep purple v-neck that David didn’t even know he owned out of the drawer.

“If you say so,” David said, sighing and starting to unbutton his apparently _inadequate_ black button up. He knew he could at least trust Justin to not make him look stupid, even if it didn’t seem like that big of deal to David.

“I feel like I’m helping my son get ready for a first date,” Justin said, standing up and handing him the shirt with a proud grin.

 

\---

 

It had taken forever to get Justin to leave. He had tried to fix David’s hair, held him down to pluck some stray eyebrows, made him change shoes three times. Even if it was annoying, David still appreciated the care and thought Justin put into it. His support throughout the last few weeks had kept David sane, even when he’d felt like the worst. Still, he was happy to get Justin out the door so he could be alone to shake out the nerves for a few minutes before Robert got there.

There was still so much uncertainty, such a heavy weight of caution on his heart. Even though Robert seemed to have a change of heart, David was still reluctant to believe it was sincere. Maybe he was being too cynical, though, because Robert had been nothing but open and responsive since the elevator incident a few days ago. He was the one to pick their date spot, he had been texting regularly, they had found their groove again; he seemed willing to dive into this head first. He even insisted on renting a car and driver so he could be the one to pick David up. It was charming, David couldn’t even deny it.  

When the knock on the door came David was staring at himself in the bathroom mirror and his heart fluttered. He had butterflies like he was genuinely going on a first date, and he decided maybe Justin was right about it being a significant event. He took a deep breath, flipped off the lights and headed for the front door.

He opened the door and all his anxiety dissolved, he felt like he was in a dream. Robert looked fucking beautiful, somehow even more than usual, and David practically swooned. Yeah okay, Justin was definitely right. Robert was in mostly white; a soft-looking grey and white striped shirt, dark grey jeans and a tailored white jacket with silver buckles with the sleeves bunched up at his elbows, and then his typical random assortment of accessories. David felt like he was being picked up by a 21st century, soft-punk Prince Charming and he was super into it.

“You look great,” Robert said with a smile, beating David to the punch.

“So do you,” David said, a little spacey because he was still dazzled by Robert’s perfection. He cleared his throat and tried to will his face to not blush.

“Ready?” Robert said, offering David his arm like a proper gentleman.

It was such an adorable over the top move that David grinned and closed the gap between them, surprising Robert with a sweet kiss on his lips. Robert hooked an arm around the small of his back and kissed him again. It was instant euphoria. David felt himself fall in love with Robert all over again, just as easy as the first time.

“Aren’t we supposed to wait for the end of the date for that?” Robert said, smiling fondly when David finally pulled back.

“I really don’t care,” David said, biting his lip and turning to lock the door behind him.

“Me either,” Robert said, hooking his arm around David’s waist and walking with him.

The typical rules of dating didn’t seem to matter much when they’d already done everything else out of order. Maybe David was being naive again, but he couldn’t shove down his hope any longer. He let it flood over him, washing away any lingering doubts he still had. Maybe he would get hurt again, but at this point he couldn’t bring himself to care. Nothing good in life ever came without taking risks, and in this moment, he knew that Robert was worth the risk. He figured Robert must have felt the same about him, or they wouldn’t be here right now.

Call it a leap of faith, a shot in the dark, a free-fall - in any case, this time they were taking it together.

 

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥


End file.
